Christmas....over for another year....phew. But it's been so nice. At least the break from work, the pressies, and so on. The food, of course - always lovely. I hope you all had a good 'un. There's so much gone on, but I really don't have the inclination to diary-it-down at the moment.

My daughter has a hacking cough right now. She's been mostly sleeping and resting all day, and won't bloodywell take any paracetemol. We haven't got Calpol, which is of course paracetomal suspension, but we do have plain old no-fuss paracetemol...which of COURSE she won't have. With a lot of cajoling and reasoning with her she still didn't want to take it - she complains she hates the taste. She's even sick if she takes a little bit. We have tried mixing a crushed up half a tablet with some chocolate sauce, or in juice or...well, we have tried just about EVERYTHING, and every which way. I'm going out to get some Calpol tomorrow for her, because that's the only way she'll take her paracetmol by the looks of things :S.

Off to IKEA tomorrow to get a few things. No, we're not in it for the sale. Just to get some drawers for our new wardrobe and other bits and pieces. Hubs is now off work for a few days, but has to work on Saturday, even though he wasn't supposed to originally. Pisses me off when work decide to change things, but I guess flexibilty should, and hopefully will, work both ways.

Right now I'm knackered. I'm reading a good book, by the way - The Sawman - but I've been pretty surprised at just how many typos (grammar, spelling, you name it) there are in the book. It's the worse, that way, than any book I've read, just about ever, I think. Half way through it I almost decided to start making a note of all the typos and then send them in a letter (not a nasty letter) to the publishers to let them know. Bad proof-reading? Or is that all done by computers now? So...bad computer??

Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year!

Went over my newly qualified midwife friend's house yesterday morning. She's enjoying the job - it's her fourth week. Unfortunately she was rather chucked in the deep end and was "surrounded by nutters" the other night. She was the only midwife for 9 women who were either going into labour, or had just delivered. One woman, who had just given birth, had a wet towel around her head (gawd knows why) all the time, and couldn't speak a word of English, but kept getting up and picking up the other women's babies, then kissing the babies full on the lips and trying to walk out of the hospital with them! Luckily the babies are all tagged, at least. My friend spent a good hour or so trying to contact someone from mental health to come and help with the situation. Then another woman had just given birth - not only did the woman have Down's Syndrome but she was deaf and dumb too and her new baby also had Down's Syndrome. The woman's mother didn't speak English, but the husband did. They came from Bangladesh and it was an arranged marriage. The man was in 'perfectly good health'. What to make of it all. Anyway, my friend spent over two hours at the hospital (not paid!) at the end of her shift just trying to sort things out/clear up after herself, etc. She didn't get home until 11 pm. Apparently it's a regular thing, midwives working a couple of extra hours at the end of their shift, for no extra money. :S

Today we went over to another friend. This friend, M, wanted me to show her how to sell stuff on Ebay, which I did. We did an example of 'old pair of men's pants' - medium, white in colour and made of velvet. Only £24.00. It was quite a laugh - and I did NOT push the 'list this item' button, of course lol. I said if she wanted any help just to give me a ring. It's easy enough, but I guess if something's new to you it's good to have someone on hand who has done that sort of thing before.

In case anyone is wondering (yeah, you my one reader lol)...NO we have not used the item I purchased a couple of days ago. No way. I am thinking what a bloody silly cow I am. Ever since we've got it Hubs has that 'excited' look on his face....like a little puppy waiting for his bone. Honestly, I'm flippin' annoyed that I even entertained the idea let alone went ahead and got it. I blame hormones - afterall I was mid cycle a couple of days ago....they're to blame for EVERYTHING that's wrong in my life lol. Or...I could turn the item into something positive, afterall it was bought as a fun item....and encourage Hubs to give me quality time so to speak. Oh me of little faith. Yeah, as if......you either have 'it' or you don't. There's a lot that can be taught, but some I feel is just so very, very instinctive. Some have it and others don't. I married one who doesn't have it. Hey, who am I to criticise? I'm by no means perfect. I'm just a p'd off unsatisfied wife, that's all.

Razorlight - Before I Fall to Pieces

I like it. I really do.

I'm exhausted. Who's to blame? ME of course lol. Took the children to the shopping centre this morning to get some Nintendo DS games for them for Christmas. They kept nagging me to let them have a play of the games, but I've stood my ground and told them they can't play with them until Christmas day. Otherwise I think what's the point? It will build up the excitement more if they wait and will hopefully make it all the more special. We walked for almost 3 hours nonstop, there, around various shops, and then back again. Two of my three children took their scooters, which they had fun on of course. It was bitterly cold. At last it is starting to actually feel like Christmas to me. Then when we came back I changed all the bedsheets, pillowcases etc., with a little help from my three small helpers thank heavens. They even helped a little preparing veg for dinner, with quite a lot of supervision though, but at least the help was sort of there. When the intention is good, the outcome, even if it's not what you particularly want, is heartwarming. I could say that applies to a lot of areas in my personal life!

My friend, A, rang, to say that she'd rung in sick to work just so she could look after her daughter who is now off school. Of course my friend, A, wasn't really sick as I say - just that her husband, who had the day off work to look after the daughter, had decided to get a Clarin's eye massage done instead of looking after the daughter. Bloody selfish bastard I thought. Hubs thought it was rather out of order. I mean in order of priority, your daughter or an eye massage? (when there's no one else available to look after your daughter I mean). My friend's husband is a bit of a MCP - and she's so mild mannered and, in his words, 'an angel' that he seems to piss all over her (not literally lol)....you know. I tell ya, I don't know how some women let their bleedin' other halves take the piss like that...I'm a cow, I know, but I don't stand for shit in my marriage - Hubs does from me though...re the bedroom side I guess, although I do make an effort and put up with crap and disatisfaction from day one. We all have our pros and cons, I guess that's what the lesson is. If there is one.

Oh, my word! Going back on my word.

Had a repeat smear this morning. Of course it's not the most enjoyable experience ever (she says with a little bit of sarcasm). I was chatting a little with the nurse taking the smear and she told me that her oldest smear test patient is an 80 year old woman. Ye gods. Really. Honestly, I'm a bitch but seriously what the hell? I dunno, I guess she could still get cervical cancer of course. Just seems bloody old. I'm a cow, yeah I know.

Got some of this with our weekly grocery delivery. Hubs blushed when I told him I'd ordered it. Can you believe I ordered this, just for fun. I mean to be honest I don't need the lubricant - I got it for FUN. Yeah, I'm trying to inject some fun into things, when we DO manage to get down to business. I'm resigned to never being satisfied, so why not have a laugh? Good clean fun. It's edible apparently, very minty. If I HAVE to do something which I don't enjoy and that doesn't satisfy me, just to keep Hubs happy, I might as well make it a laugh...at least that's what I'm trying to do right now. Look at it from another perspective. Like going to the dentist to have some root canal treatment done - you know you have to, so you sit there and try and put your mind some place else, or at least try and have a laugh before/after treatment...tell a joke or two, or else you end up feeling ratty, tense or what have you. Trying to be positive about something which gives me so little pleasure that's all. You know I do so much daydream about being some place else, rather like the dentist scenario I mentioned just now, only the some place else has Hubs being replaced by someone who KNOWS what to friggin' do to get me there lol. Hubs seems to take the whole chocolate bar as something really, really serious. I know how important it is to him, but still can't we have a laugh/fun at the same time? We'll see how it goes. Oh well....Hubs has had the snip, so no worries about using protection. Oooh, I'm delving into something I said I wouldn't!

I'm sooo worried about my parents. I dunno. They are just getting older (aren't we all?) and health starts to deteriorate. My dad's been prescribed tablets for high blood pressure and he'll have a cholesterol test in the coming weeks too. Phew, it's just sad and very worrying for me. I guess that's life.

I've been reading some different blogs recently, as well as the ones I've read for a while. It's soooo interesting, all these different types of people, seemingly, with such very different lifestyles from my own. Makes me wonder what 'secret lives' some people lead, and I bet most of them I would never guess what goes on 'behind closed doors' as it were.

My dad's not been very well, it's either a bug or blood pressure or.....both...or summink else. He's off to see the Dr. tomorrow a.m. Fingers crossed the Dr. will find something minor and prescribe rest/medicine and all will be well very soon.

Today I took this children to their last swimming lesson until the New Year. Gave the teacher some chocs and a card - she didn't even acknowledge it to me. Oh well, perhaps she was busy? The children got certificates and badges - the youngest son did 25 metres and my daughter did 100 metres. My eldest was at a football game, playing of course - his team lost 2-0 :(. They got a bit of a telling-off from their coach, because they apparently "weren't doing what they were told to do" and the other team were being very nasty/cheeky to my son's team apparently. Also re football - West Ham beat Man U! Wha-hey!!!! *Big, wide grin*

Hubs and I have been madly catching up, or trying to catch up, with all the stuff he has taped on the HDD. We've watched lots of Curb Your Enthusiasm - that Larry David alternately makes me cringe/laugh out loud. He's so awful in his character. Love it.

Tomorrow I plan to walk to the shopping centre with my eldest son in the morning. He's not at school (his last day was last Friday) although my other two children don't finish school until this Tuesday at 12.15 pm. I need to change/renew the library books and have a look at the Nintendo DS games, as all my children would like at least one game from Christmas. God, presents are exceedingly expensive for children these days. I guess it's because it's all gadgetry and electronic. I think there were expensive children's toys when I was a child but NOT so bloody many of them! The pressure is so ON for parents to keep up with the 'trends' for their children - mostly pressure which I try and avoid. I don't just go and buy stuff, I usually say they can have it but on their birthday or at Christmas, otherwise it's ridiculous. My personal opinion only (for my children)!

Any married men reading this? Want to try The Perfect Husband test???? ;)

Thank goodness - another week over and no work for me until 4th January 2007!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My boss and colleagues did a big basket full of goodies for me, which was really kind and nice of them. They are (generally!) such lovely people. Couldn't work for a nicer bunch (most of the time!).

I still have a few bits and pieces to get for Christmas - presents mostly. I need to wrap up some things and get a few 'special' Christmas cards for my mum and dad.

Hub's mother in law fell and broke her hip last weekend - we were only told yesterday. She's 78. She's in hospital and will have her hip pinned, not replaced, and will be out of hospital early next week from what I can gather. Blimey, they certainly don't keep 'em in very long nowadays! She'll probably need crutches and/or a wheelchair I would imagine (I know very little about this so I'm surmising). Her husband (Hub's dad of course) is 80 but very nimble and good for his age in general, but I don't know if he'll be able to manage her at home by himself. They'll probably get a nurse/homehelp for a little while. Actually Hub's dad and his wife are generally in excellent health, apart from this accident.

My mum gave me several pairs of linen type Next trousers which my second cousin didn't want. They all fit reasonably well - 3 size 10s and 1 size 8, although the size 10s are slightly too large and the 8 is slightly too small! Bloody typical. I'll keep the 3 tens but the size 8....well, I hate to feel 'stuffed into' something, so I'll probably get rid of them. I really don't give a toss about wearing second hand clothes or whatever, as long as they are good condition and fit I'll wear 'em. I was being nosey and got onto the Next website and saw this dress in the petite range (5ft 3 and under - I'm 5ft 3)....absolutely lovely. I don't know WHY I like it but I just do. Wouldn't buy it though - apart from it being way too expensive for me (yeah, I'm cheap lol) it's not something I could see myself wearing about the house with three children and the four cats around. I really want to dress more formally - it looks so smart and 'together'. Not that I'm a ratbag or anything, but I tend to wear serviceable clothes, if you know what I mean - jeans and jumpers/t-shirts most of the time I'm not working. Now a dress like this....I'd just love to try it on :).

Had a massive amount of chocolate last night, and felt quite happy-ish and not at all sick later ;) but I wasn't satisfied as usual :S.

.....I wanted to type a post, but I got sidetracked by a friend on Messenger! :S :)

I'm fed up with wearing trainer type shoes. Fed up with clobby shoes. And I'm ready to get something a little more 'formal' and smarter footwear. Boy, when I think about the high stiletto, pointy toed shoes I used to wear in my teens/early 20's (pre marriage and babies).....how on EARTH did I even walk, let alone, dance or run (okay for 'run' read 'totter'). I've placed a bid on these rather boring shoes - a very tentative step (pun intended?) towards a different type of shoe. What does this all say about my mental state? Not a lot probably lol.

When I got in my car to go to work this morning it wouldn't start - flat battery :S. An hour later, with assistance from an engineer, I managed to get into work. He reckoned that perhaps the fact that the boot of the car won't close properly after that geezer driving into the back of my car a couple of weeks ago, making the light on the boot stay on all the time....well, that could have flattened the battery. Could have. We'll see. I spent less than an hour or so at my desk and then had to make my way a mile or two down the road for some training on how to pay invoices electronically. Thing is they haven't even given me the programme yet, to be able to use it, so by the time I get that (from what I gather) it's going to be well after Xmas. There were 3 other people on the course with me, and we''re all in the same boat. At least we were given a large manual on how the payment system works....so hopefully we won't forget toooo much by the time we get the programmes installed! Organisation?!? What organisation? lol

Looks like I'll be working four days this week instead of three, but it means that I won't have to work next week, and instead will work a couple of extra days at the beginning of January. Just good to have flexible hours. The team I work for think that it will be pretty quiet next week, so no need for me to go in (yipeee!), but after the Xmas holidays it will busy-up again (busy-up???) so I'll be needed more then. Flexibility, such a lovely word isn't it? It's so nice to have the 'space' of part time working that allows that flexibilty, and such brilliant colleagues too.

My boss came in today - she wasn't supposed to as she's gone to working just three days a week recently. They joke with her that she's 'volunteer' working when she comes in like today. The online booking system is a pain in the arse. Basically someone who knows sod all (no, perhaps that's a little harsh) put our courses on the system, but put them in wrongly. For example, one course may have three sessions, or one course may run three times a term. The former you need to attend on all three occasions, but the latter course only the once. Can you see how a mix up might occur if you don't quite understand the difference???? Yeah, and what a head ache when people actually go 'live' and book themselves onto courses ..... so I'm left to try and sort it out, and try and figure out course headings which have also been put in wrongly too. Double trouble, but hey it keeps me friggin' busy! lol :S

Music speaks for me.

That old Depeche Mode song/video I posted below just because the song is how I feel, but not the lyrics lol. I really like that song, more so now then I did then for some reason. I was never a DM fan. Seriously, god how the world has changed. How I have changed. Life. Since that song. What another whole world I was living in back then (1984?).

Today I took the youngest two children to their swimming lesson, and then from there we all went to the Karate grading session. They've all gone now from a yellow tip to a yellow belt. Still early days, but I'm really glad we enrolled them onto Karate classes. Something positive, fun and useful (i.e. self-defence).

I spoke to my friend, A, this evening. She's really, thank god, enjoying her new job as a midwife. She told me she spoke to some old classmates (other newly qualified midwives) who have gone to work at a different hospital and they are hating it there. Apparently they don't have a mentor, any support and are dumped in at the deep end. She, at least, has someone she can talk to and feels very supported at her hospital.

I'm feeling incredibly alone. Why?????? I sometimes feel like this and it is really an awful stomach churning feeling.

Depeche Mode - See you

In this desert that I call my soul, I always play the starring role. (Yeah, I know they are lyrics to a DIFFERENT song lol!!)

The bloke came to fix a new fan onto our freezer yesterday. He blushed at me. He was finishing mending our freezer and when he looked up he blushed. WHY? Oh gawd knows. There's got to be something wrong with me. Or do I catch people doing things they shouldn't, or something, or nothing, or what???? I don't know why, but it's unnerving to me (she says with a puzzled look on her face).

This morning I went over to a friend. It was so nice to chat and laugh. When I came back it was time for lunch. The cats had been in most of the morning and were standing patiently at the back door to the garden, waiting to be let out. Even though it was piddling down they still wanted to get out and wander around. Our kitten is 3 months old but still incredibly tiny. She is just far tooo adorable for her own good. She has a face like Gizmo the gremlin (you know? From the film Gremlins). Then my daughter wanted her friend over after school for a couple of hours. My daughter's friend was lovely - really nice, well most of their friends appear to be nice kids, so far (touch wood!).

Just watched the 1950's film version of War of the Worlds (from the book by H.G. Wells - as if you didn't already know that :S). It's one of my most favourite films - well the recent one starring Tom Cruise is.

As I was typing this I was also clicking in and out of various email accounts and.....generally just deleting lots of spam! Yeah. I guess I'm not alone in getting a LOT of spam, in fact slightly more (ha ha) spam than 'real' mail. I sometimes forget that I'm also signed into Messenger (yeah, I know I could set it to NOT sign me in but then sometimes I want to be in and sometimes not and etc., etc.) Anyway, a bloke who I've chatted to before on here, among several men and women I've got on my messenger list, IM'd me. He started off okay, and cordially and we chatted about work and stuff, then he just sent me a pic of himself (not nudie, don't worry lol). He started to get a little flirty, rather than friendly, and I know that it takes two to flirt but I'm not generally into that sort of stuff. I feel like I've been there, done that and have the t-shirt and it's not something I'm eager, or feel the need, to ever try again. He then asked me several times if I had any pictures of myself, when I said no he asked if I had a webcam. Hmmmm. I know men. Yeah, okay I'm a cynic....but.....hmmm. I DON'T think so. I steered the conversation into a friendlier diretion, but in the end I had to tell him I had to log off and put some washing away (true I did have to). Of course I didn't send him any pics, clean or otherwise lol. And I do not have a webcam. Am I over reacting? I like fun, like the next person (insert 'good clean' before the word 'fun' please - okay I'm friggin' boring as hell, eh?) From blogs I've read by men on here, but more from my experience with men in The Real World, it seems a lot of men generally think with their genitals when it comes to women, even if they don't openly admit it. No, I know it's not always the case. All boils down to that old chestnut/question of 'can men and women be JUST friends?' I for one would love to think they could. But then I'm a woman. Meow.

Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

My mood NOW :).

The Raconteurs

Aye, aye Cap'n! ;)

Seems a few training sessions are fated for me, at work. I had some training today and next week I'm going to have an afternoon session on how to make payments (of invoices) electronically (at last). The training on the online booking system which I had today seemed a real breeze, only my boss (who I'm beginning to think is smart but NOT as smart as me lol....ouch! Sorry.) wanted me to go on the training, so I did. My boss was having really big problems with the online booking system, so sent me to be 'trained up' on it so that I could do that part of her job for her...well, if she can't do it, then I will! My boss has had several sessions of training on the online booking system (and has made numerous 'helpline' phone calls) and still couldn't do it properly. When I went over to be trained the woman trainer actually apologised half way through to me ('for talking to you like an idiot') when she realised I wasn't half as dumb as she had expected. Presumably she was using her experience with my boss as her yardstick of measurement for me and was obviously surprised at her mistake so she apologised (actually several times)'. Don't judge a book until you've read it, aye? Now, I'm certainly no genius but I'm really amazed sometimes at how so many people I've come across seem to think that just because, for example, someone is an admin. person then they are obviously not as clever as the bosses! Doesn't it ever enter their heads to think 'outside the box' (hehe...love that crappy jargon!) and understand that not everyone has 'career person' stamped on their foreheads from birth? A lot has to do with personality, drive, ambition and perseverence I think, and (in my case) where my priorities lie. My family comes first - namely my school age children. Yes, I could probably (yeah, okay, humour me PLEASE lol) be doing a job with a lot more variation, responsibilites, interest and a higher salary. But I want to be around to pick up my children; be there for them in the school holidays and such like. I don't want to have squeeze in all the housework and shopping at the weekends, and feel exhausted because I am kidding myself I can do it all when I know I bloodywell can't.

You can't have decorating without mess, hm? Hubs has almost finished decorating the front room - and most of the 'afterwards cleaning up' has been done too. Have I mentioned how I really don't like a mess, most of the time??! I put up with it, but I don't like it!

Work was good. I felt quite happy, actually, if rather bored. I got on with most of the desk bound jobs relatively smoothly. My concentration was not what it should be (is it ever?) and it was nice to chat about bugger all to P, the lady who sits opposite me. I am the youngest in the office and that means that a lot of the women are near retirement age - well a couple of them are, and the others are around 50ish. Most of us are part time in the office - I think once you go part time there is really no incentive to go back to full time work, especially if you can survive on the money reasonably well. I always tend to think it's not what you earn, always, it's what you spend/do with it that counts (duh, isn't that bloody obvious?! lol). Hubs and I are reasonably good with money, and we don't earn that much between us. I earn just above average wages pro rata, and he earns rather less but we save and we scrimp and get by quite well - I just don't buy lots of expensive stuff (well, sometimes - occasionally!). It's very easy to be tempted into getting yourself into deep debt in this day and age - credit cards, et al. We've done well considering and I think luck has been a major factor with us too. The housing market has gone into overdrive with the prices going through the roof (groan, pun intended :S) and we bought our first house just at the right time, thank heavens. Any earlier or later and we'd have ended up paying out a lot more dosh than we did, maybe not even being able to afford a property in the first place.

I have to do a rather tortuously massive amount of proof reading at work today, which I am really looking forward to. Hmm, can't you just feeeeel the enthusiasm in my words?? :S My boss, A, is not in today (unless she turns up unexpectedly) so it'll be reasonably hassle free (famous last words!).

Hubs has nearly completed decorating the frontroom, and we watched tele' in there last night, for the first time in what feels like ages but in reality is only just about under a week.

The freezer has now, again, decided not to freeze the food in it. At least we have an engineer booked to come and fix it this week. The freezer apparently needs a new fan to circulate the freezing air. Actually WHY am I calling it a friggin' freezer? How about a non-freezer, which is more like it! The freezer first packed up when it was less than 5 days old. We booked an engineer to come and he said it needed a fan, then he went. So we didn't have a working freezer. That was about 3 weeks ago. But a few days after he'd visited the damn thing started to work again, as if by magic! Now, yesterday, it's packed up again. I can't correlate the stopping and starting of it with anything at all - i.e. filling it with more food, or less or anything like that. Talk about tempermental! Also our cordless phones packed up recently for about a week (we still had one cordphone which worked) and then, yesterday, they started to work again. Anything in the slightest bit electrical/mechanical doesn't seem to want to be in the same house as us! The freezer we have is the fifth one in 14 years. The washing machine we have is the 8th one in 14 years. The tumble dryer we have only lasted about 14 days before it needed replacing because it refused to work.....shall I go on? Jinxed I tell ya.

At swimming yesterday our old neighbours were there. They have finally settled the subsidence problem with the geezer who wouldn't remove the offending plants! At last. And they plan to move, apparently not very far - 'local' - too. A family have moved into our old house too. It was interesting catching up on stuff like that. As we were talking he (the neighbour) was blushing furiously. He even put his hand over his face as if he could wipe the blush off from his face. I found it a bit distracting, as he was obviously uncomfortable about not being able to control his blushing. I rarely blush...no, hold on. I don't think I've ever blushed as an adult, although as a child I did a few times that's for sure. Anyway, he was standing chatting to me alone, whilst his wife and the children were getting changed. I was just waiting for my son. He's a nice bloke, very good looking, but not my type at all lol. Even though he's slim, 6ft, has short black hair and blue eyes. Yeah, just thought I'd add that. He's a really brainy bloke too....but I feel like I could eat him up and spit the bits out and that's saying something lol.

...oops, I've just re-read that "not my type at all" bit and it sounds a bit, well, you know! I'm just saying that the feeling was NOT reciprical on my part, whatever 'the feeling' was lol!!

Badly Drawn Boy - Once around the block

Heard this on the radio today, and remembered how much I love this song.

Started my period yesterday, without any/much PMT this time, amazingly!!! Wow - from one extreme to another. Quite relieved that not every cycle brings with it such ghastly overtures of depression and misery, thank heavens!

I'm feeling a bit drained though, and quite happy to lie in bed to watch t.v. at night. Hubs has the frontroom in a totally uninhabitable state at the moment, due to decorating - painting the walls, etc., so no-one can really go in there (unless they want to get painted/messy!)

We went to my sister's yesterday for one of her son's birthdays. It was good - nice food as always. Nice not to have to cook, although saying that I did make a chocolate birthday cake for the birthday boy and also some coconut fairy cakes.

Just a 'note' to say that if anyone thinks I'm going to be writing about a past 'thing' from my old blog.....then I'd better clarify that, nope, I won't be. This is a new, clean sweep for me. So I won't be whining about too much chocolate that's for sure! (As in 'he's pestering me for chocolate yet again!) lol ;) This blog is just a boring day to day almost event or non-event type blog. Mundanity at its worst. :) So I hope that's clear??! :)