I know the best way to avoid getting pissed off and depressed about something that pisses you off or/and depresses you is to NOT concentrate on it. It's better (my opinion for myself) to think positive, even better to think of something else entirely. At the moment work is just a big strain. Two major computer programmes costing zillions are being administered, or as the 'higher ups' say 'rolled out' ridiculously imcompetently. Heard of the term run before you can walk? That applies. I'm just totally pissed off with the whole flippin' lot of it. How can I explain without going into too much detail? Suffice to say that things have been done arse uppards, with one of the two sites going live, before it's even been tested, and bugger all people have had training on it. What training has been given is pathetic in its application. The programme has 'bugs' in it, and......oh, I just am soooo glad I don't have work for a few days. That's all. What the fuck is it with managers? They seem to get loadsa money for doing the wrong things. Okay, I know. Nobody is perfect. But honestly, when you get paid £70,000 plus a year wouldn't common sense and the ability to make less of a mess up of things than your so-called subordinates come into the equation somewhere along the line? I have had a handful of good managers in my working life, and some really nice ones (actually two I quite liked)...but the rest? They're just Joe Bloggs down the road given a very nice salary, thank you very much - he has the gift the gab and an air of confidence, but competence and knowledge of how to talk to or manage others? Ha ha. You're having a laugh.
Wednesday, 31 January 2007
Tuesday, 30 January 2007
Things that made me go ":)" :
My eldest son came up to me, put his arms around me and said "I love you lots mummy".
Finding some half price conditioner (hair) then finding out, when it comes to paying for it, that it's even cheaper...only 16p!
My eldest son came up to me, put his arms around me and said "I love you lots mummy".
Finding some half price conditioner (hair) then finding out, when it comes to paying for it, that it's even cheaper...only 16p!
Thursday, 25 January 2007
I woke up Wednesday morning and Hubs said "look outside". We had a layer (several inches) of snow :). I asked my children if they wanted to go outside and make a snowman, etc. My youngest replied he'd make a snowman when he came home from school...unfortunately the snow had melted by then :S. We've had a few icing sugary dustings of snow since Wednesday but none have really 'stuck'.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_pictures/6293741.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_pictures/6293741.stm
Monday, 22 January 2007
GGggggggggggggggggggod. I sound like a really moaning beeeeeeeech. 'specially those last few posts. Oh, please, please, PLEASE someone hit me 'round the mush with a big, wet kipper!! I'm dropping all of my shit on this blog. And, I feel so much lighter for it!
I'm much smilier in person. Oh yes. :D Really!!! lol
I'm much smilier in person. Oh yes. :D Really!!! lol
The weekend flew past. What with housework, buggering around and generally day to day things that have to be done just to get by. All that stuff my parents did for me when I was a child. God, how you take it for granted. When you're an adult it all falls into your lap and refuses to budget until you give it a kick up the backside. Responsibility. I like it but by heavens is it tiring.
Hubs and I had a chat on Sunday evening. I was, again, knackered from a hectic day. We had my parents and sister and her children over for Sunday lunch which was after Hubs and I had been swimming all morning with the children. Anyway, the chat was all that old schpiel. You know, he wants what he wants and so do I! lol I thought that he would maybe change his tune to something like "well I'll try harder next time" or "I'll keep trying". It's just "well, that's how it is isn't it?". Literally. His words. I just wanted him to say "I'll keep trying" or something more hopeful for me. I know I'm being selfish, but there comes a time when you just have to be selfish to sort the situation out. If you know what I mean. You probably are quizzical now. What I mean is by my being honest with him, then surely it will help. Or rather it should help. There's nothing that I've typed here that I haven't said/told him in Reality. So until he can become a better lover he can expect to find me a not-so-enthusiastic partner in the bedroom dept. The status quo won't ever change. I'm still not accepting of it though, am I? I mean I wouldn't be thinking about it or typing this out if I were, would I?
Work today was another day of me on my own, working without my boss again being there. She works the beginning of the week and I work the end of the week. We 'clash' on Wednesdays when we both work, though. She wanted me to 'phone her at home this morning, just to go over a few things. Since she's gone part time I have realised how drastically unorganised she really is. I feel like it's something I could really get my teeth into. Organising her I mean. But the thing is she likes to do things 'her way' and we don't see eye to eye in that respect. I think I've mentioned about how she likes to do things at the last minute and I try and avoid that scenario if, and when, possible.
Spoke to my friend, A, last week. She is so stressed out with her job at the local hospital. It's a bit dangerous how she has to walk the streets to her car at 11 pm at night, after finishing a shift. And the streets around there are very dodgy. Hubs says he's surprised her husband doesn't go and pick her up. The thing is they have three young children, and at that time of night it's the getting them all out of bed and into the car that's awkward. Plus she doesn't finish always at a set time. Sometimes has to carrying on over and above her call of duty, so she may finish an hour or two later than her shift time. I really worry about her sometimes. If she was closer she could ring us and either Hubs and I would drive and take her home. Although the other thing is she leaves to start her early shifts soooo early in the morning.....so many things to think about. I just worry about her safety.
We've booked an expensive holiday to Portugal. To the first place I went with my first real boyfriend. Will it bring back memories? I dunno. Perhaps. We're not going until the Autumn, half term from school. Should be an experience for the children, as it will be their first time on an aeroplane!
Hubs and I had a chat on Sunday evening. I was, again, knackered from a hectic day. We had my parents and sister and her children over for Sunday lunch which was after Hubs and I had been swimming all morning with the children. Anyway, the chat was all that old schpiel. You know, he wants what he wants and so do I! lol I thought that he would maybe change his tune to something like "well I'll try harder next time" or "I'll keep trying". It's just "well, that's how it is isn't it?". Literally. His words. I just wanted him to say "I'll keep trying" or something more hopeful for me. I know I'm being selfish, but there comes a time when you just have to be selfish to sort the situation out. If you know what I mean. You probably are quizzical now. What I mean is by my being honest with him, then surely it will help. Or rather it should help. There's nothing that I've typed here that I haven't said/told him in Reality. So until he can become a better lover he can expect to find me a not-so-enthusiastic partner in the bedroom dept. The status quo won't ever change. I'm still not accepting of it though, am I? I mean I wouldn't be thinking about it or typing this out if I were, would I?
Work today was another day of me on my own, working without my boss again being there. She works the beginning of the week and I work the end of the week. We 'clash' on Wednesdays when we both work, though. She wanted me to 'phone her at home this morning, just to go over a few things. Since she's gone part time I have realised how drastically unorganised she really is. I feel like it's something I could really get my teeth into. Organising her I mean. But the thing is she likes to do things 'her way' and we don't see eye to eye in that respect. I think I've mentioned about how she likes to do things at the last minute and I try and avoid that scenario if, and when, possible.
Spoke to my friend, A, last week. She is so stressed out with her job at the local hospital. It's a bit dangerous how she has to walk the streets to her car at 11 pm at night, after finishing a shift. And the streets around there are very dodgy. Hubs says he's surprised her husband doesn't go and pick her up. The thing is they have three young children, and at that time of night it's the getting them all out of bed and into the car that's awkward. Plus she doesn't finish always at a set time. Sometimes has to carrying on over and above her call of duty, so she may finish an hour or two later than her shift time. I really worry about her sometimes. If she was closer she could ring us and either Hubs and I would drive and take her home. Although the other thing is she leaves to start her early shifts soooo early in the morning.....so many things to think about. I just worry about her safety.
We've booked an expensive holiday to Portugal. To the first place I went with my first real boyfriend. Will it bring back memories? I dunno. Perhaps. We're not going until the Autumn, half term from school. Should be an experience for the children, as it will be their first time on an aeroplane!
So where the bloody hell does Mr Dougray Scott (love interest on Desperate Housewives) hail from? His accent - eeeek. I really thought it was the most god awful fake English accent I'd ever heard. We really DON'T talk that over here. It's bleedin' creakily, cringe-makingly bad. Hubs and I laughed at it at first, but now it's just irritating. Then I read this. So the geezer's Scottish. And trying to put on an English accent. Soooooo, I see. Hmm. Why can't he BE Scottish on the show, if he can't do a decent English accent? lol
Saturday, 20 January 2007
This little 'munchkin' is doing the rounds. I thought I'd give it some MORE 'airplay' - how unoriginal of me!
Look over the list, and add up how much your sins are worth. You only get credit for a sin once, no matter how many times you've done it. If you want let me know how much your sins are worth and comment on any particular sins you want.
To be honest I sort of question the use of the word 'sin' here, but what the heck....And because I'm English I'm going for the '£' sign :).
Smoked pot -- £10
Did acid -- £5
Ever had sex at church -- £25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- £40
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- £25
Had sex for money -- £100
Vandalized something -- £20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- £10
Beat up someone -- £20
Been jumped -- £10
Crossed dressed -- £10
Given money to stripper -- £25
Been in love with a stripper -- £20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- £0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- £15
Ever drive drunk -- £20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- £50
Used toys while having sex -- £30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- £20
Went skinny dipping -- £5
Had sex in a pool -- £20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- £10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- £20
Cheated on your significant other -- £10
Masturbated -- £10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- £20
Given oral -- £5
Got oral -- £5
Done/got oral in a car while it was moving -- £25
Stolen something -- £10
Had sex with someone in jail -- £25
Made a nasty home video -- £15
Had a threesome -- £50
Had sex in the wild -- £20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- £25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred pounds -- £20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- £20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- £25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- £50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- £25
Went streaking -- £5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- £15
Been arrested -- £5
Spent time in jail -- £15
Peed in the pool -- £0.50
Played spin the bottle -- £5
Done something you regret -- £20
Had sex with your best friend -- £20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- £25
Had anal sex -- £80
Lied to your mate -- £5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- £25
I scored a very respectable (ha bloody ha) £120. Weelllllll??? What the frig did you expect from a woman like ME?? lol
Look over the list, and add up how much your sins are worth. You only get credit for a sin once, no matter how many times you've done it. If you want let me know how much your sins are worth and comment on any particular sins you want.
To be honest I sort of question the use of the word 'sin' here, but what the heck....And because I'm English I'm going for the '£' sign :).
Smoked pot -- £10
Did acid -- £5
Ever had sex at church -- £25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- £40
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- £25
Had sex for money -- £100
Vandalized something -- £20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- £10
Beat up someone -- £20
Been jumped -- £10
Crossed dressed -- £10
Given money to stripper -- £25
Been in love with a stripper -- £20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- £0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- £15
Ever drive drunk -- £20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- £50
Used toys while having sex -- £30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- £20
Went skinny dipping -- £5
Had sex in a pool -- £20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- £10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- £20
Cheated on your significant other -- £10
Masturbated -- £10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- £20
Given oral -- £5
Got oral -- £5
Done/got oral in a car while it was moving -- £25
Stolen something -- £10
Had sex with someone in jail -- £25
Made a nasty home video -- £15
Had a threesome -- £50
Had sex in the wild -- £20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- £25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred pounds -- £20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- £20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- £25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- £50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- £25
Went streaking -- £5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- £15
Been arrested -- £5
Spent time in jail -- £15
Peed in the pool -- £0.50
Played spin the bottle -- £5
Done something you regret -- £20
Had sex with your best friend -- £20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- £25
Had anal sex -- £80
Lied to your mate -- £5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- £25
I scored a very respectable (ha bloody ha) £120. Weelllllll??? What the frig did you expect from a woman like ME?? lol
Wednesday, 17 January 2007
I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch.
Are you with someone who is good in bed? You should (?) know by now that I am not. And apparently I'm not so alone as I thought. I've stumbled across a handful of women bloggers who 'suffer' the same. Suffer? Well, what other word is there. Some chose to find lovers, others - like me - stick with the man they love and married because...well, because I love him.
I'm so putting off the inevitable. In fact I put off the 'inevitable' last night and had a most excellent time by taking the situation into my own, sad little hands. I need to make an effort to please. But where is HIS effort to please me? It's just soooo uncomfortable, clumsy, non-satisfying. Blokes, imagine this if you will. Here's the scenario: First of all I've turned the tables.....(man is woman, woman is man, if you know what I'm saying here? lol) your wife is wanting sex, and what happens every time? Well, first of all she'll say loudly in your ear "want some rumpy pumpy"....then....after you've both undressed she just strokes your balls, cuddles your thighs and leaves sticky, wet, gooey globules of saliva all down your neck as she runs her tongue up and down it. Meanwhile she's having a lovely orgasm that you've given her. After she's cum she cuddles you, but does no more. No intercourse for you, or satisfying b/j. She'll grapple very quickly with your penis. By grapple I mean rub is roughly up and down, without any lubrication and then give up after about 20 seconds (usually you have to stop her because it's just so uncomfortable or even painful). Sorry I forgot. Usually when you make love with her she will elbow you either in your chest, or headbut you (usually I get headbutted when he's doing his hour's worth of very boring and unsatisfying, for me, grinding ...yawwwwwnnn). Great sex, huh! No wonder I'm always so very much looking forward to it.
NB: Also note that no amount of 'showing' her how you would like it to be done, talking to her, being angry, being calm changes things. Every time it's back to 'square one' and teaching time starts. All. Over. Again. Ad nauseum.
I'm so putting off the inevitable. In fact I put off the 'inevitable' last night and had a most excellent time by taking the situation into my own, sad little hands. I need to make an effort to please. But where is HIS effort to please me? It's just soooo uncomfortable, clumsy, non-satisfying. Blokes, imagine this if you will. Here's the scenario: First of all I've turned the tables.....(man is woman, woman is man, if you know what I'm saying here? lol) your wife is wanting sex, and what happens every time? Well, first of all she'll say loudly in your ear "want some rumpy pumpy"....then....after you've both undressed she just strokes your balls, cuddles your thighs and leaves sticky, wet, gooey globules of saliva all down your neck as she runs her tongue up and down it. Meanwhile she's having a lovely orgasm that you've given her. After she's cum she cuddles you, but does no more. No intercourse for you, or satisfying b/j. She'll grapple very quickly with your penis. By grapple I mean rub is roughly up and down, without any lubrication and then give up after about 20 seconds (usually you have to stop her because it's just so uncomfortable or even painful). Sorry I forgot. Usually when you make love with her she will elbow you either in your chest, or headbut you (usually I get headbutted when he's doing his hour's worth of very boring and unsatisfying, for me, grinding ...yawwwwwnnn). Great sex, huh! No wonder I'm always so very much looking forward to it.
NB: Also note that no amount of 'showing' her how you would like it to be done, talking to her, being angry, being calm changes things. Every time it's back to 'square one' and teaching time starts. All. Over. Again. Ad nauseum.
There's nothing like a ..... moan.
Work yesterday was total mayhem. Add to the fact that my boss, A, is now working just the end of the week, so wasn't there to help at all. Can you imagine me running around with my arse on fire! lol Sorry, I can't put it any other way. I was literally running from one minor disaster/emergency to another. The thing is my boss is NOT good at managing and leaves things to the VERY last moment. It doesn't friggin' matter if I've asked/said to her "do you think we should be organising those online courses for after Easter right now?" (which is what we SHOULD be doing to avoid any more chaos, disorder and extra crap). Nope, no matter how or what I say she does it her own little way and leaves it until the Nth minute to get something done which should have been done just a bit (haha) before then. I'm not one who likes to rush at the last minute, at least not in a work environment. I like things to be ordered and (if time allows) organised in as much advance time as possible. She however seemingly does not. I've taken things into my own hands at times and done stuff way in advance just so that I can get it done - she looks at me and says silly things like "why are you doing THAT?". Yeah can you believe it!!! I guess we are just total opposites in own working methods, unfortunately. And you know what? I don't want to sound big headed but I usually come up trumps and she sometimes (rarely) backs down and admits I'm doing the right thing...well sort of. She's always nipping out of the office for a quick fag, or some strong coffee at the cafe round the corner (we do have tea and coffee at work!). Sorry I'm moaning. Just that when things go wrong which could have been avoided she gets pissy with....guess who?...yeah, ME!!! How annoying is that. I was quite upset today and told her that I couldn't have done any more than I did. Another woman in the office also told her how I'd worked bloody hard to try and get things sorted out and couldn't have done any more. Oh well. That's life. Fuck it.
Tuesday, 16 January 2007
Bugger. I will maybe try and sort out the post below later when I have a little bit of time to....but for now it's not being accepted (something wrong with the Html code :S). Oh well. I tried.
Monday, 15 January 2007
Where does the time go? Well, the weekend was so busy. We had a friend's daughter over to stay on Saturday night, which meant 4 children to feed, wash and iron....Where the flip did the 'iron' bit come in? lol. Hubs and two sons went to a boat show at London's Excel building in Docklands on Saturday with some friends, and I took my daughter to her friends and they went swimming. It was superb having a few hours to myself, until everyone came home again, plus my friend's daughter.
On Sunday morning Hubs took eldest son to play football for his team (they won, btw) whilst I took my other two children, plus friend's daughter, swimming. Wow, how lucky I am to have children who KEEP CLOSE to me, or should I say don't just bugger off here, there and everywhere without a word. Can I just say I don't have friggin' eyes at the back of my head!!! It wasn't at all relaxing, trying to keep up with my friend's daughter - and I am sure if she was my kid I would soon get mad really quickly. Number one - danger! Wondering off. Getting lost! Luckily she didn't get lost. Although I must say I was pretty anxious throughout the 'ordeal'. My friend has told me that her kids do tend to 'scatter', and she's really not joking.
On Sunday my friend's husband and his two sons came to pick up his daughter, who had stayed with us. I cooked them all Sunday roast. He sat and chatted for a while. He and his wife (my friend) had gone out to a late, company Christmas 'do' the night before and stayed at a hotel, hence we had their daughter to look after. Their two sons had been 'shared out' - one stayed at a relative's house and another at a family friend's. My friend's husband is a nice chap, but it really made me envious when he started to talk about how much he earns, and now my friend is a qualified midwife how much she is earning too. Seriously, Hubs and I must be amongst the lowest earners of all the people, relatives and friends alike, we know. But the funny thing is (?) we don't owe anything apart from a very small mortgage. We have a nice house (I think), the children attend better schools in a better area (I know that sounds bloody snobbish but it is true) and we have most of the stuff that they have. I guess we are just more frugal, or budget better because we sure as hell don't earn half as much as most of them. Hubs is really fed up at his work, and now especially more so since he's learnt how much other blokes in the family/friends are earning. He's going to be looking for a better, higher paid job soon. The thing is he comes home early twice a week, when I work, to pick up the children from school - the youngest two I mean. Our eldest son goes to secondary school so obviously manages the journey (a 5 minute walk) okay by himself. Perhaps putting the youngest two children in an after school club for an hour or so twice a week, and I'd pick them up from there, would be a good idea just to open up the way for more chances to get a better job. We've both seriously put our careers on hold because we've wanted to handle the children's care ourselves. Perhaps we're paying for that right now, because it certainly looks that way. I know money doesn't buy you everything/happiness. I guess we are just bloodywell jealous. You know I've even looked at trying to train up as a Speech and Language Therapist, although the money doesn't appear to be fantastic, it looks interesting and for some (strange?) reason I'm attracted to at least considering that career. Oh well. I've babbled too long. Again!
On Sunday morning Hubs took eldest son to play football for his team (they won, btw) whilst I took my other two children, plus friend's daughter, swimming. Wow, how lucky I am to have children who KEEP CLOSE to me, or should I say don't just bugger off here, there and everywhere without a word. Can I just say I don't have friggin' eyes at the back of my head!!! It wasn't at all relaxing, trying to keep up with my friend's daughter - and I am sure if she was my kid I would soon get mad really quickly. Number one - danger! Wondering off. Getting lost! Luckily she didn't get lost. Although I must say I was pretty anxious throughout the 'ordeal'. My friend has told me that her kids do tend to 'scatter', and she's really not joking.
On Sunday my friend's husband and his two sons came to pick up his daughter, who had stayed with us. I cooked them all Sunday roast. He sat and chatted for a while. He and his wife (my friend) had gone out to a late, company Christmas 'do' the night before and stayed at a hotel, hence we had their daughter to look after. Their two sons had been 'shared out' - one stayed at a relative's house and another at a family friend's. My friend's husband is a nice chap, but it really made me envious when he started to talk about how much he earns, and now my friend is a qualified midwife how much she is earning too. Seriously, Hubs and I must be amongst the lowest earners of all the people, relatives and friends alike, we know. But the funny thing is (?) we don't owe anything apart from a very small mortgage. We have a nice house (I think), the children attend better schools in a better area (I know that sounds bloody snobbish but it is true) and we have most of the stuff that they have. I guess we are just more frugal, or budget better because we sure as hell don't earn half as much as most of them. Hubs is really fed up at his work, and now especially more so since he's learnt how much other blokes in the family/friends are earning. He's going to be looking for a better, higher paid job soon. The thing is he comes home early twice a week, when I work, to pick up the children from school - the youngest two I mean. Our eldest son goes to secondary school so obviously manages the journey (a 5 minute walk) okay by himself. Perhaps putting the youngest two children in an after school club for an hour or so twice a week, and I'd pick them up from there, would be a good idea just to open up the way for more chances to get a better job. We've both seriously put our careers on hold because we've wanted to handle the children's care ourselves. Perhaps we're paying for that right now, because it certainly looks that way. I know money doesn't buy you everything/happiness. I guess we are just bloodywell jealous. You know I've even looked at trying to train up as a Speech and Language Therapist, although the money doesn't appear to be fantastic, it looks interesting and for some (strange?) reason I'm attracted to at least considering that career. Oh well. I've babbled too long. Again!
Friday, 12 January 2007
Duh. No wonder I've not felt comfortable recently in my underwear. I actually felt so comfortable that had to go and measure myself. The tape measure tells me I've grown a little in one particular area (make that two?). I've now gone up one cup size - or two - depending on if measured in centimetres or inches. I've not put on weight, so how does that make any sense at all. Perhaps I'm a very late developer???! My mother was apparently, very flat until she was almost 20 then she suddenly went from zero to DD. But I just hope I don't get much/any bigger. No wonder my husband said "nice tits" the other day when he caught me getting dressed? I don't know about nice...just bigger that's all. I was happy being smaller. It suited me. Oh well, on the positive side I guess it gives me a good excuse to go and buy lots of lovely new bras!
Let's have a "heated debate" (good old Mrs Merton!). What do YOU think? I've already got my own opinion. Just wondering.
Thursday, 11 January 2007
To cut a long story short, I've torn the tendons in my right ankle. Painful? Yeah very. Swollen black, blue and red? Yeah, very. I'm going to cut a long story LONG (huh?)...and expand. I ran down the stairs yesterday morning, and stepped on a book bag which had an uneven surface and my right angle turned 90 degrees. I heard a snapping/ripping sort of sound, which scared the shit out of me. Needless to say I dithered as to whether I should go to the Dr/A&E...and in the end, when the pain and swelling progressively got worse I hobbled along to the A&E dept. I was treated very quickly and was told to exercise my foot/ankle even in the pain - otherwise it would not be so 'mobile' as it healed/when it healed - not pun intended :S. At least 6 weeks until it's 'back to normal'. I'm a lot better (?) this morning, but it's funny how you take being able to climb the stairs, up and down, and simple things like that for granted - until you can't really do it with the ease that you once did. I'm walking with a limp and thinking about maybe trying to walk the children to school this morning. Driving seems to be okay (thank goodness!).
Wednesday, 10 January 2007
It's amazing what sells on Ebay. Some thing I think "nah, that's never gonna sell", but voila...it goes and with 12 bids to the final one! Whoa. Surprising. So I'm still into the Ebay lark. It's an interest, a hobby. I barely spend 10 minutes a day, if that on it. But it's good fun. I like the auctions. It's just a little sparkle of excitement in an otherwise mundane scenario.
I'm struggling, really struggling, to finish the book I'm reading (or rather NOT reading lol) right now. 'Falling Out of Cars' it's called. Set in a future where there is a sickness, a surreal type sickness - and the only cure is a drug nicknamed 'Lucy' - shortened from Lucidity. It's so surreal it's unfair. I find I'm more able/willing to read and follow through with books which are written in an everyday, down-to-earth style and also about everyday, down-to-earth (mostly!) stuff. Perhaps because of this I'm finding the writing style and matter (which is just so totally, completely different to the last couple of books I've read) harder to get used to. I'm going to punish myself and MAKE myself friggin' finish it. Only 100 odd pages to go :S. I've started so I'll finish. Dear Magnus Magnusson.
My boss irritated/upset me again at work today. I sort of brush it off. She's just so bloody rude sometimes. Perhaps I should say something, and I truly am getting better at sticking to my guns and not 'taking it'. It was just past the time I was due to leave work today, so I'd worked slightly over my time anyway, and I showed her that I didn't have the time to finish everything. When she sort of started to get stroppy I just reiterated that I did my best but did NOT have the time to do everything. Just to stop her in her tracks. Honestly, I work bloody hard. Through my lunchtimes, and so on. Of COURSE I know that the more you do, the more people generally expect. I'm getting slightly better at NOT taking shit.
I'm struggling, really struggling, to finish the book I'm reading (or rather NOT reading lol) right now. 'Falling Out of Cars' it's called. Set in a future where there is a sickness, a surreal type sickness - and the only cure is a drug nicknamed 'Lucy' - shortened from Lucidity. It's so surreal it's unfair. I find I'm more able/willing to read and follow through with books which are written in an everyday, down-to-earth style and also about everyday, down-to-earth (mostly!) stuff. Perhaps because of this I'm finding the writing style and matter (which is just so totally, completely different to the last couple of books I've read) harder to get used to. I'm going to punish myself and MAKE myself friggin' finish it. Only 100 odd pages to go :S. I've started so I'll finish. Dear Magnus Magnusson.
My boss irritated/upset me again at work today. I sort of brush it off. She's just so bloody rude sometimes. Perhaps I should say something, and I truly am getting better at sticking to my guns and not 'taking it'. It was just past the time I was due to leave work today, so I'd worked slightly over my time anyway, and I showed her that I didn't have the time to finish everything. When she sort of started to get stroppy I just reiterated that I did my best but did NOT have the time to do everything. Just to stop her in her tracks. Honestly, I work bloody hard. Through my lunchtimes, and so on. Of COURSE I know that the more you do, the more people generally expect. I'm getting slightly better at NOT taking shit.
Amy Winehouse -You Know I'm No Good
Why....did...it take me....so loooong....to post this friggin' video? Love it. She's got a GREAT ol' voice.
Tuesday, 9 January 2007
It's dark, cold, wet and raining outside. I find it comforting, in a crooked kind of way, to hear the rain outside...but only when I DON'T have to go out in it. So this morning, let's just say that I'm NOT finding it comforting.
I'm in a pissy mood. I don't know why. Maybe it's just me. I'm a pissy person. I just feel like I need a break. Not to say that I've not had a holiday (just come back to work after the Christmas holidays in fact!). Well, it wasn't really a holiday. Still had the normal 'stuff' to get on with, cooking, cleaning...yeah, boring things that everyone (just about) has to do. My friend, A, rang me up. She wants us to look after her daughter for the night this weekend, as her husband and herself are staying at a hotel as part of his work's Christmas party. Yes, a little late I know, but I suppose the company had trouble booking up at Christmas (everywhere packed?). I've been looking at a holiday in Spain (first time for the children on a plane!) or maybe Eurodisney. Just somewhere, anywhere but here....to get away. It's nice at home, but sometimes a change is as good as a rest. We'll see.
I may have to stop reading blogs which write about good sex. It really pisses me off even more. Sometimes I can take it, but other times it fucks me off. Seriously I'm sooo jealous. The thing is when you're forced to do something it's not quite so bad if it's enjoyable, even if you don't feel like it to begin with. But when it's not enjoyable it's a friggin' kick in the teeth even more so, because 1) you weren't in the slightest of moods for it and would rather not and 2) it's awkward, uncomfortable and frustrating and you know you'll be expected to put up with at least an hour of it. Fancy doing the thing you don't like the most for an hour? Just try and relate it to something you don't enjoy doing. Still, regarding whether I'd marry him again if I had the choice, I'd probably say yes, because sex isn't everything to me at all. It's a small annoyance, and I'm sure if it wasn't sex that was the annoyance there would be some other small irritation to take it's place. At least I can sort of deal with this one, and put up with it and it should get better with time (I'm thinking problems with getting it up lol - ooooh, wicked me lol). I guess it's a bit like (I don't know here I'm just searching) someone who has been trying for a baby for a long time and hasn't been successful yet, and they're reading about someone who has had a baby with no trouble. That's all I can really say. That feeling.
I'm in a pissy mood. I don't know why. Maybe it's just me. I'm a pissy person. I just feel like I need a break. Not to say that I've not had a holiday (just come back to work after the Christmas holidays in fact!). Well, it wasn't really a holiday. Still had the normal 'stuff' to get on with, cooking, cleaning...yeah, boring things that everyone (just about) has to do. My friend, A, rang me up. She wants us to look after her daughter for the night this weekend, as her husband and herself are staying at a hotel as part of his work's Christmas party. Yes, a little late I know, but I suppose the company had trouble booking up at Christmas (everywhere packed?). I've been looking at a holiday in Spain (first time for the children on a plane!) or maybe Eurodisney. Just somewhere, anywhere but here....to get away. It's nice at home, but sometimes a change is as good as a rest. We'll see.
I may have to stop reading blogs which write about good sex. It really pisses me off even more. Sometimes I can take it, but other times it fucks me off. Seriously I'm sooo jealous. The thing is when you're forced to do something it's not quite so bad if it's enjoyable, even if you don't feel like it to begin with. But when it's not enjoyable it's a friggin' kick in the teeth even more so, because 1) you weren't in the slightest of moods for it and would rather not and 2) it's awkward, uncomfortable and frustrating and you know you'll be expected to put up with at least an hour of it. Fancy doing the thing you don't like the most for an hour? Just try and relate it to something you don't enjoy doing. Still, regarding whether I'd marry him again if I had the choice, I'd probably say yes, because sex isn't everything to me at all. It's a small annoyance, and I'm sure if it wasn't sex that was the annoyance there would be some other small irritation to take it's place. At least I can sort of deal with this one, and put up with it and it should get better with time (I'm thinking problems with getting it up lol - ooooh, wicked me lol). I guess it's a bit like (I don't know here I'm just searching) someone who has been trying for a baby for a long time and hasn't been successful yet, and they're reading about someone who has had a baby with no trouble. That's all I can really say. That feeling.
Monday, 8 January 2007
One of the ladies, D, in my office is having an external verifier coming tomorrow, so needs all the paperwork to do with her 'stuff' in order and my boss, A, who is involved with said D's work, hasn't done things she's supposed to do. Hence me having to type out various reports/forms post haste. My boss, A, kept saying "shoot me" about her own incompetence today and although I have to admit I was secretly finding it quite comical (she is naturally a funny lady) deep down I admit she was right. I'm sure all will come together reasonably well for tomorrow, despite numerous bits and bobs being done at the very last minute.
My cold is still lingering. My eyes feel like they have a bit of the cold in them. Just a teeny bit red and itchy almost. I'm sure once the cold has completely gone my eyes will be back to normal again, it's just irritating that's all. Tissues? You should see the inside of the car I'm driving at the moment. My car is Tissue Island. Hubs complains a little about it, because I'm using his car to drive around in whilst my car is at the garage being fixed. Hubs has the new and improved courtesy car, of course - which he loves.
Had another weird dream last night. I can't remember exactly what it was about but I do know it was weird...should have written it down while I still remembered it perhaps. Anyway, I've found the link to having these types of dreams - at least ONE link.......it's eating coleslaw shortly before bedtime. Yup, seems guaranteed to bring about amazingly, awful strange dreams. What is IN that stuff? I thought it was mainly good for you. Must be some chemical that does something somehow. Now isn't that weird? (Is coleslaw related to cheese? lol)
My cold is still lingering. My eyes feel like they have a bit of the cold in them. Just a teeny bit red and itchy almost. I'm sure once the cold has completely gone my eyes will be back to normal again, it's just irritating that's all. Tissues? You should see the inside of the car I'm driving at the moment. My car is Tissue Island. Hubs complains a little about it, because I'm using his car to drive around in whilst my car is at the garage being fixed. Hubs has the new and improved courtesy car, of course - which he loves.
Had another weird dream last night. I can't remember exactly what it was about but I do know it was weird...should have written it down while I still remembered it perhaps. Anyway, I've found the link to having these types of dreams - at least ONE link.......it's eating coleslaw shortly before bedtime. Yup, seems guaranteed to bring about amazingly, awful strange dreams. What is IN that stuff? I thought it was mainly good for you. Must be some chemical that does something somehow. Now isn't that weird? (Is coleslaw related to cheese? lol)
I must say that photo of some coleslaw makes it look revolting. But I just close my eyes and BITE. Mmm.
Sunday, 7 January 2007
Swimming lessons started again this morning, after the Christmas holiday break. Hubs came along with eldest son as there was no football match this morning. I think even if there had been a match planned to be played it would have had to have been cancelled due to dismally damp and rainy weather. Yesterday eldest son was collected from football practice absolutely caked in mud. I rinsed and rinsed his mud encrusted football socks under the tap before they could go in the washing machine.
Some friends have booked for themselves and their children to go to Eurodisney, Paris, in a couple of months. Just for a few days. We're thinking of doing the same. The children have never been there before. It's got to be fun, right? The package we're looking at is half the price that our friends have paid - I think they went to the Eurodisney website and did things 'proper' if you know what I mean, but I reckon that you can pay full whack that way, and by full whack I mean more than perhaps you should just because you're using the site, etc.
I'm possessed of (no, not 'by') the Ebay bug at the moment. Got it, like it, want more, more, more. It's turned me on. It's exciting. Oooh, yes :). I give more than I take....well, usually.
Some friends have booked for themselves and their children to go to Eurodisney, Paris, in a couple of months. Just for a few days. We're thinking of doing the same. The children have never been there before. It's got to be fun, right? The package we're looking at is half the price that our friends have paid - I think they went to the Eurodisney website and did things 'proper' if you know what I mean, but I reckon that you can pay full whack that way, and by full whack I mean more than perhaps you should just because you're using the site, etc.
I'm possessed of (no, not 'by') the Ebay bug at the moment. Got it, like it, want more, more, more. It's turned me on. It's exciting. Oooh, yes :). I give more than I take....well, usually.
Saturday, 6 January 2007
What am I passionate about? Really passionate about? Music. And my children. And my friends. Not particularly in that order, but if there was one thing which could quickly and most easily pick me up when I'm down, it would probably be music. I want it loud. I want it to fill up every 'space', block out external stimuli, destroy the shit that is sometimes reality and fill, fill, fill my senses. Taking me mentally to another world, time, era....with words, sounds, rhythms and feelings deeper and more intense than I usually get from normal everyday living. Just for those few minutes, until that certain song/tune finishes, I am in another dimension. Endorphins. Happiness. Sadness. Whatever. It's so good. Nothing else can quite do it for me like music can. Of course it has to be stuff I like! And of course, I don't have a stereo turned up full blast anywhere, I just use earphones, or close the car windows (not so loud I'm unaware of things whilst driving!).....I don't have a huge collection of music at all. In fact I have probably less than a dozen CDs. Most of the music I like is on here. Or on an MP3 player. I dislike collecting things, even stuff I love (weird maybe?). God didn't give me good sex, but at least I have music! (I'm an aetheist, remember?? lol)
Friday, 5 January 2007
Thanks for all the fish!
Saw this film tonight. I think you either love it or hate it. I'm more with the former feeling. Of course.
Thursday, 4 January 2007
Weird shit - literally
I have work today, but I'm drinking tea and 'relaxing' (ha ha!) before the 'rush' of getting the children chivved up (pronounced chiv-eeed, and it means getting them to get a move on, for those unfamiliar with some UK 'slang'!), or rather chivvy-ing them up, taking the children to school and then going to work myself.
Had a weird dream last night. Not a very pleasant one. Basically the first bit of it was 'okayish'. I was driving through a neighbourhood and noticed that the houses weren't particularly nice - it was funny, like one of the houses had a garden which was just about taken over by this ugly Anderson type shelter, and the woman and man had to sit in this 'thing' at a table to eat their dinner, because the house was quite tiny itself. I was sort of comparing the houses/gardens and seeing that my house was 'nicer' (sounds snobbish and awful and it probably is of me :S). Then I got home and went into the garden. We had family over and there were loads of piles of shit in the garden! I didn't want the children, of course, playing around in the garden, and asked Hubs if he would clear it up, as I had plenty of other stuff to get on with.....but despite my asking him several times it wasn't cleared up so I got a shovel and a large strong black bag and started shovelling this disgusting shit into the bag. Some of the turds were incredibly long, stinky and just....sorry, hopefully this hasn't put you off your breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack!!? I also managed to get some of it on my hands. Ugh. It was awful. Then my youngest son came up to me and he had studs in his ears, but one had come off, and part of his earlobe with it too, because (and this is scary/weird) he had been attacked by a lion who had mauled his ear/him! Arrrrgh. What the f does this all mean? Am I going totally bonkers? Probably not going bonkers. Probably already AM bonkers.
Had a weird dream last night. Not a very pleasant one. Basically the first bit of it was 'okayish'. I was driving through a neighbourhood and noticed that the houses weren't particularly nice - it was funny, like one of the houses had a garden which was just about taken over by this ugly Anderson type shelter, and the woman and man had to sit in this 'thing' at a table to eat their dinner, because the house was quite tiny itself. I was sort of comparing the houses/gardens and seeing that my house was 'nicer' (sounds snobbish and awful and it probably is of me :S). Then I got home and went into the garden. We had family over and there were loads of piles of shit in the garden! I didn't want the children, of course, playing around in the garden, and asked Hubs if he would clear it up, as I had plenty of other stuff to get on with.....but despite my asking him several times it wasn't cleared up so I got a shovel and a large strong black bag and started shovelling this disgusting shit into the bag. Some of the turds were incredibly long, stinky and just....sorry, hopefully this hasn't put you off your breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack!!? I also managed to get some of it on my hands. Ugh. It was awful. Then my youngest son came up to me and he had studs in his ears, but one had come off, and part of his earlobe with it too, because (and this is scary/weird) he had been attacked by a lion who had mauled his ear/him! Arrrrgh. What the f does this all mean? Am I going totally bonkers? Probably not going bonkers. Probably already AM bonkers.
The snot and grot seem to be going, thank heavens. Back to work today. Everything was pretty okay. My boss, A, was off today which of course meant less stress for me. She's a nice old bird, but can be pretty ratty sometimes to put it mildly.
Whoa. The wonderfully entertaining Desperate Housewives returned to our screens recently, and last night Hubs and I watched the first of two shows he'd taped. Very good! But...when it got to the bit where Bree has her first orgasm ever, and doesn't even realise she's had one (yeah, what's up with her lol!!!?) I found myself feeling intensely jealous. And even slightly embarassed. Hubs didn't see the irony in the situation at all. I guess not. After all he gets his every time. You know what I thought after the initial hit of jealousy? (Okay, I felt a tad angry too.) I just thought "where can I get me a man who can do that???" lol.
Whoa. The wonderfully entertaining Desperate Housewives returned to our screens recently, and last night Hubs and I watched the first of two shows he'd taped. Very good! But...when it got to the bit where Bree has her first orgasm ever, and doesn't even realise she's had one (yeah, what's up with her lol!!!?) I found myself feeling intensely jealous. And even slightly embarassed. Hubs didn't see the irony in the situation at all. I guess not. After all he gets his every time. You know what I thought after the initial hit of jealousy? (Okay, I felt a tad angry too.) I just thought "where can I get me a man who can do that???" lol.
Wednesday, 3 January 2007
Been trying to read this book, but after reading the so-easy The Sawman this book is quite slow and dragging in comparison. It's such a different genre/type/style that I'm finding it pretty hard to get into it and stay with it, if you know what I mean. I am (reasonably) determined to finish it.
New Year is here. Blimey. Any resolutions? I hardly make any myself, 'cause I know that I usually don't keep to them, at least not for very long. I've been less 'drastic' and excessively dramatic (my normal self) recently and hopefully will remain this way for the foreseeable (and unforeseeable future). I mean I seem to be able to keep reasonably calm. I didn't even get much PMT-ness this month, either, which was fantastic.
Hubs and I did use that stuff I bought a few weeks ago. God, I panicked (more about this later). Actually it was quite funny looking back at it. It was old year's night and Hubs was toooo enthusiastic with it and it ended up with my jumping into the shower to wash it off/out, because it actually felt hot and burning (unless it was all in my mind?!?). As always, clumsy Hubs pumped on the pump action far too many times and put the stuff on me 'down there' far too liberally and before I could actually stop him getting too carried away.....sorry, I do love him, but he'll never make a good lover if I'm totally realistic. Just being totally (a cow!) honest. I'm not saying I'm perfect, Christ knows I'm far from it. He said I was so unpredictable and that he could never see me buying 'stuff like that' in a million years. Yeah. If only he knew how to make me 'happy' he would SO see such a different woman. Well, because that's never going to happen I've changed tack. Plus I do try and sometimes make an effort, even if it ends up rather farcically. And it was a farce, really. But it was a laugh. And if you can't enjoy it as it's intended to be (i.e. mutually satisfying and really intimate and pleasureable, etc.) then I think you might as well try and get some enjoyment out of it in other ways. It's a comedy of errors. I guess I can count myself as one of the errors.
I've been overly busy and overly sick. How I hate that achy feeling, and the snot. Ugh. Oh well.
Back to work tomorrow, after almost three weeks off! Keeps me out of mischief, eh?
New Year is here. Blimey. Any resolutions? I hardly make any myself, 'cause I know that I usually don't keep to them, at least not for very long. I've been less 'drastic' and excessively dramatic (my normal self) recently and hopefully will remain this way for the foreseeable (and unforeseeable future). I mean I seem to be able to keep reasonably calm. I didn't even get much PMT-ness this month, either, which was fantastic.
Hubs and I did use that stuff I bought a few weeks ago. God, I panicked (more about this later). Actually it was quite funny looking back at it. It was old year's night and Hubs was toooo enthusiastic with it and it ended up with my jumping into the shower to wash it off/out, because it actually felt hot and burning (unless it was all in my mind?!?). As always, clumsy Hubs pumped on the pump action far too many times and put the stuff on me 'down there' far too liberally and before I could actually stop him getting too carried away.....sorry, I do love him, but he'll never make a good lover if I'm totally realistic. Just being totally (a cow!) honest. I'm not saying I'm perfect, Christ knows I'm far from it. He said I was so unpredictable and that he could never see me buying 'stuff like that' in a million years. Yeah. If only he knew how to make me 'happy' he would SO see such a different woman. Well, because that's never going to happen I've changed tack. Plus I do try and sometimes make an effort, even if it ends up rather farcically. And it was a farce, really. But it was a laugh. And if you can't enjoy it as it's intended to be (i.e. mutually satisfying and really intimate and pleasureable, etc.) then I think you might as well try and get some enjoyment out of it in other ways. It's a comedy of errors. I guess I can count myself as one of the errors.
I've been overly busy and overly sick. How I hate that achy feeling, and the snot. Ugh. Oh well.
Back to work tomorrow, after almost three weeks off! Keeps me out of mischief, eh?
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