I'm a glutton for punishment. I walked solid, fast, for about 2 hours this morning. I have to say my legs are aching a little. I walked to the main shoping centre, and I walked fast there and back. I managed to get more Easter eggs, which were on special offer and some Easter cards. It started off nice weather, then got gradually wetter and wetter - thankfully I'd taken my umbrella. Had to side step a few people who headed straight for me. What is up with that? You're walking along and someone walks robot like AT you? I mean it seems to always be men, to be honest - oh, and occasionally a little old lady (nothing against either!).

My daughter had one of her friends, B, over after school for several hours. Mainly B had decided she'd like to come and make Easter cakes, consisting of cornflakes, golden syrup, cocoa powder and butter all mixed together with some sugary sprinkles and miniature eggs on top. What a mucky, but delicious mess was made by all, I have to say.

I saw Erasure (late 1980's I think) live at London arena. They were one of the best bands I'd ever seen live, at the time. Great showmen. Lovely atmosphere. Posted that video because it is my favourite Erasure song. I saw LOTS of bands/singers in those days. Boy, was it expensive - but hey I wasn't 'married with mortgage' in those days lol.

Erasure

Heard this today. And remembered how much I loved it.

Yesterday Hubs went to Argos and took back youngest son's broken Nintendo DS Lite. It was under guarantee thank goodness. The thing WAS dropped a few times, but although it still worked the hinges were hanging off, and one was completely broken. It was covered by the guarantee STILL would you believe....and Hubs managed to get back a refund on our credit card, despite the fact that I had originally mostly used Argos vouchers to pay for it. The Argos lady, correctly, said she would/should only refund him with vouchers, but Hubs got the refund on the card thankfully after a little 'arguing'. I got online, because all the shops in London/this area are completely out of stock of DS's (yeah, ridiculous!) - and they don't know when they ARE going to be getting some in....and ordered another DS for my son - he loves the damn thing. So addictive. I wonder when the addiction will start to wear off? Oh, and Hubs was soooo pissed off when he came back from the shop, because Argos had none in stock to replace the broken DS and youngest son had a right little paddy because of it. Luckily I was upstairs and out of the way, but WHY did I start to giggle at Hubs ranting? I guess I'm just a cruel cow? He rarely gets that annoyed. I think it was probably an accumulation of stuff, because he's cheesed off with his work and so on. He got a pay rise this year, as did all the workers - which amounts to less than the rate of inflation and after tax is around £5 extra a week. Wow. Still at least it's something eh? Mind you, the lazy-arse (according to Hubs) kleptomaniac manager of his branch got £10,000 as bonus and sat back and bragged about it to everyone. Nice man, aye? Give all the 'underlings' very little indeed, but the managers (according to Hubs - they don't deserve it) get £10,000 bonuses each year at payrise time. I suppose it keeps them sweet? Who on earth decides stuff like this? It certainly does not raise morale, in fact the opposite. I think 'spread the money around' a little and dish it out to those who really deserve to get it. Just my opinion.

This Saturday my father in law is having a birthday meal at his house and we're all invited. My daughter also got invited to a friend from her school's 10th birthday party - a disco. I asked her what she'd prefer, either her friend's birthday party or to visit her grandad. I was so taken aback when she replied "grandad, because I haven't seen him in a while". Awwww. I really thought there was no choice in her eyes - I mean a birthday bash with her mates from school or a staid, family affair where she is meant/made to sit still for a couple of hours and make 'adult chat'. He is always quite busy and has lots of things going on in his life. He goes to concerts, goes away on mini breaks and is very involved in his local church - so we don't always see him so much.

My eldest has just shouted the 'f' word. God, I'm sooo angry with him. I'm off to deal with him again. Discipline. Hard work....

Stereophonics - Rewind

Monday, Monday. Another week then I'm off for two weeks! Yay! Yesterday was lovely in that we sat in the garden - despite it being pretty chilly when the sun went in and the wind blew. My parents and sister and her three boys came over after lunch. Seeing my mum, after her telling me about her unwell spell, made me more relaxed about her health. Sometimes the worrying has a far worse impact than the reality, if you know what I mean. I don't know if she worries to herself, or how much (I expect so, it's only natural?) but she doesn't tend to show it at all.

Watched most of Charlize Theron (spelling?) in Monster last night. I'll try and watch the rest tonight. It was absolutely brilliant acting on her behalf - in fact, I thought all the actors were very good. Funny thing was, we both went to bed knackered but Hubs still got to have sex with me. Actually for once I did feel horny (shock! horror! lol) and stripped completely before jumping into bed on top of him! (What HAD got into me! lol) Naturally he was totally turned on by this (men....you are so easy to please!! - yes that is patronising but I HAD to say that). I was still left 'wanting' as per usual, although he weirdly (?) asked if he should not cum. I guess he felt guilty? I don't know. I made sure I had a lovely orgasm when I was alone. He is a good man, but sexually we are totally at odds. How I feel is that he is clumsy and inept. On the other hand he would answer back and say (true of course) that I am frigid and never want sex. The truth is something he doesn't seem to understand or want to understand - it's not that I don't want sex, it's just that I want GOOD sex. Bad sex has conditioned me to be turned off completely. Bad sex has left me hating to go through it again and again. I know I don't have a high libido, but bad sex has lowered it to zilch. There is SO much of me that he will never see if this is how things are going to be in our married life. So much that would be so wonderful. Seriously I'm really spilling my brain (ugh) this morning. Any other person might, just might, try having an affair, or be totally pissed off with the situation (me more to the latter than the former). I suppose because my libido - slightly suppressed? - is low I don't place half the importance that say a man with a high sex drive would do on sex. Many men seek their thrills outside marriage when their wants are not met inside it, I can understand that but don't agree totally with most of that. Still, I may be frigid, but I am not shy at letting go at all - I have no problem with giving to him what he wants when we do it. So he ends up really happy. Lights on and all that stuff. I, on the other hand, dream of good quality (for me) intimacy. Literally daydream.

Just wondering. How many of you could do with a sexless relationship? I'm thinking of this sort of scenario - where your partner was sick and unable to have sex (stuff like in a coma, or a long/chronic illness involving need for complete rest , etc). How many would stand by and 'do without' - how many would fuck someone else? How many could remain 'faithful'? I wonder. Till death do us part. Yeah.

What prompted this post? Edge's comment on a post I did very recently. He said "Without that intimacy love is shallow and just not enough". And I was just wondering, well what if that person who you love and had shared a sex life (good or bad?) with became ill and just wasn't physically able or capable of having/giving sexual pleasure to you (or themselves) any more? Would you leave them for someone else, when they probably were at the most need of your love and attention than at any other time, perhaps? Would you stay with them but 'secretly' take a lover on the side? Would you stay with them and be there to help and look after them, most probably 'seeing to yourself', but remaining faithful to them? I guess you could say I'm in the latter category (no surprises there). Love IS enough for me.

Well, it had to happen. 'It' , if you know what I mean. By Hub's standards it was a slightly (ha ha) overdue. It's a necessary of being married to him I guess. I have to compromise. I love him, so I have to. He was quite animalistic at first, and then calmed down into a little bit of a (sorry for this) wimp. I just complied and went with the flow of things. He did try but he ended up hurting me more than arousing me. I had started having strong feelings as to how peaceful and serene my life would be without this 'element' in it.

Today I took eldest son to football practice and he (I'm not sure if it's our family or just him)/we got invited to a birthday party in April - one of his old friends is going to be 12. The family moved out of the area, shortly before we did and they are so lovely. Came back and did cheese topped shepherd's pie. I also made a jam sponge today and did ....well, actually I just realised how much home cooking I really do. I hope it's healthier than takeaways (got to be?) and using the 'raw ingredients' surely that's got to be good - no additives. I make quite a few things from scratch, mainly because I know it's cheaper and also it usually (?) tastes a lot better than oversalted ready made stuff. Not to say that I'm a cookery snob. Not at all. I just do basic things, usually. Convenience food is around in the kitchen but it's limited.

My friend, A, rang yesterday. She told me she'd just been shopping and got herself some new work shoes. She works in a hospital and the other workers had complained that her shoes were too noisy. Just HOW noisy can shoes really be? lol I guess quite a lot??!! She's due to start on a night shift, in a couple of weeks, and is really, really dreading it, as she says you only tend to be able to get about 4 or 5 hours sleep when you sleep in the daytime.

My daughter went to her friend's this afternoon and came back completely exhausted. Of course she started playing up due to the tiredness. Don't we all tend to get ratty when we are knackered? The thing is to try and see through this and still get her to do the stuff she's supposed to do, like behave properly and NOT kick her younger brother! :S

Watched Harry Hill's TV Burp this evening. He is just so hilarious. And the thing I really like about him is that he is not smutty, doesn't swear - and it's good old fashioned humour. Sometimes I wonder if that really still exists. Thank heavens it does, if only in the smallest, deepest recesses of t.v.'s plethora of so-called comedy shows.

Here's a smile to follow that miserable post below.

I CAN smile and I will.

Whoever said it would be easy?

Yes, it's hard being a parent sometimes. I could feel my heart racing - pounding in my chest as I told off my eldest son this evening. The back chat. The swearing. Doesn't he EVER learn? It's just getting toooo much (where to draw the line, at the occasional 'bloody' or not even that?) I don't know what to do sometimes. I guess all parents can do is what they think is best. Whatever that may be. But I can't help doubting, pondering, worrying - are WE, or am I, doing the right things? Should I do it this way, or maybe that way would bring more positive results? I've banned eldest son, now, from his beloved Ninetendo DS game, until tomorrow afternoon, and he'll then only get it back if he has behaved himself.

The 15 year old boy who was murdered by a gang of youths, in East London recently, actually attended the same school as my friend's two sons. I have to say that area is a hard area. I used to live there and it has not got any better. My friend caught her sons with knives and also pellet guns. They have also been bunking off school. My friend and her husband went ballistic. Can you imagine it? So many young boys murdered (shot or knifed) the last couple of months. What is going on. I don't think there's an easy solution.

And yes, that is me in that picture. Looking tired and drained. I'm a miserable cow when I'm pushed. I promise I'll smile more. Promise :).

I'm a bit worried about my mum's health at the moment. Extremely worried in parts to be honest. Jeeze. It's so bloody.....unavoidable - the inevitable. Do you know what I'm talking about? I mean, when parents are elderly and I kind of think sometimes...worry if something happens. If they will linger, will they pass suddenly. I watch John Edward and also that other geezer, lord I've forgotten his name (he's English). And I don't really know what to think. Those mediums. I really do believe it is posible that when our bodies die 'we' don't - I mean our souls 'live on'. It's possible, but is it real? I don't know. It would be so comforting to think it was real. I've had strange experiences myself, which aren't explainable, and frankly they've scared me a little simply because I couldn't quite understand or logicalise (? lol) them.

Spoke to a friend on the 'phone. It was nice to chat. I miss her as we don't see each other so much now that she's working funny hours, and full time too.

It's turned decidely colder now. I've realised I really do much prefer the summer, yes definitely.

Eldest son plays around, or at least tries to. He needs so much careful discipline and it can be incredibly draining on both myself and Hubs, but we must do it. Eldest son is almost 12 and is pushing, pushing, pushing. Chatting back. Arguing. Not doing as he is told and more. That sort of stuff. Really totally pisses me off. WTF. That's the way of things, isn't it? I'm sure I was a million times more naughty when I was the same age. That's no joke.

I'm trying to be a more positive person. It's so hard. Perhaps I need to read a good book and secure a healthier and more positive mental state for myself. Set out on the road to a bright sunshiny destination, instead of drifting around in the boring, mundane quagmire feeling sucked under and suffocated in negativity? Hold on. My period's due soon. I can't tell, half the frigging time, if it's my hormones doing the talking or 'me' (what?).

So I'll depart. Off to see the latest episode of Desperate Housewives.

The Stone Roses - Waterfall

I just love it.

The weather has turned cold, wet and nasty. The weather people did predict it, so it's not surprising. (Hey! Just how much excitement can I manage to squeeze into the first two sentences on my post? lol)

Back to work again today. More financial cherries to pick (?). I know one thing, all this extra stuff I'm being asked to do means I am going to get to a point where things are NOT going to be getting done, simply because I will not have enough time to do them. My line manager is aware of the situation and so are several other people who are 'important' if you know what I mean. There are a few meetings this week, at which the current situation will be mentioned. Whether or not bugger all will actually be DONE remains to be seen. It's okay to sit and TALK about things, but I would like to see some bleedin' action. Actions speak louder than words. It might shut me up if they sweetened me with a pay increase. I could also volunteer to come in and do extra hours, but really I went part time simply because that is what I wanted because of having three young children and not being able to fit everything in otherwise, so going full time (or whatever) would defeat the object. And, in the long term, it could just drive me bonkers with stress and overwork. Still, we shall see. And soon I hope!

Had a lovely weekend. Mother's Day yesterday so cakes and flowers for my mum. Hubs bought a very large card for me from himself and the children. It said Super Mummy on the front. LOL That's the LAST way I'd describe myself...more like constantly tired mummy, well mostly.

Today had a crappy day at work. I'm fed up with dealing with financial stuff when I've had no proper instructions or training. It's like teach yourself Mandarin - oh and by the way can you learn it fluently by next Friday please??

It actually SNOWED today. Erm, well hailstone-ish snow. Then sun. Very windy. Hubs spent ages putting seeds into seed trays on Saturday and then putting them into our new propagator (spelling?) only to have the whole lot blown over by Sunday morning. Mind you he should have tied the thing up. He has now, apres incident.

David Cassidy How Can I Be Sure

A side of me you probably didn't know? I'm not a DC fan at all, but I really like this song. Heard it on the radio today (the original and not this not-so-good live version). How CAN I be sure?

Who do you NOT look like?

This past week I've had two people say "ooh, you look so much like %%%%%", "your expression is just like %%%%%%%". Not the first time. I'm sure most people are compared (either realistically or otherwise) to other people - I mean my dad was told he looked very much like a bloke out of Third Rock From The Son (the old geezer with the white hair - can't remember the actors name). I think he does a bit too!

On the other hand, sometimes you just think "what IS going on in this person's head? I look nothing like &&&&, apart from we are of the same gender" (thank god lol). I'm neither annoyed, nor happy - I just think "?".

This week I've had people say I look like her......and her (see above). My hair is NOT that colour, and neither is my skin (darker hair, lighter skin - not the other way round!!! lol). Yeah, and my husband is the spitting image of King Kong, from 40 miles away looking through the bottom of a drinking glass :).

Today is Red Nose Day here in the UK. My youngest two, primary school age, children are wearing red items of clothing today at school. I've given them £1.50 each to spend at various raffles and other 'games' arranged by their school. The school said in a letter that £1.50 is the limit for each child to take to school, which I thought was sensible, seeing that there are so many other things we keep being asked to pay for/donate to, at the school. We even have to pay £20 every two terms for them to go swimming with the school. When I was at school this was 'free'. Oh well.

My youngest is a little under the weather, and I've told him to let the teacher know if he wants me to come and pick him up from school early if he suddenly feels worse or he wants to lie down. It's another summery/sunny day today, and I'm off to my friend's this morning as soon as I drop the children off at school.

Saw Desperate Housewives last night. The bit where Orson's ex-wife, Alma, and his mum decide to dope him with sleeping tablets and another drug (I'm assuming Viagra?) so that Alma can rape him because she wants a baby. Sooooo funny. It's getting rather silly (getting?) but I do so enjoy it.

Our kitten was fine after being spayed yesterday. I went and picked her up with the children. She was a little bit groggy and tender, but that's to be expected. I'm hoping she won't go off like our other cats - apparently a neighbour has been 'looking after them'. I'll be quite angry and have to have a word with the neighbour if she does. We also got her microchipped yesterday, in case she goes missing. We have to take her back in 10 days to get her stitches removed, but now at least she can go out into the garden without the worry of her getting 'up the duff'!

Our credit card company decided to take £1,000 from us and give it to themselves. Don't ask me why. What a cock up. Why couldn't it have been the other way round? lol Hubs phoned them and they said they'd put the money back into our account in 3-5 working days. Hey? Don't you think we should charge them interest? Let's say, errrr, 20% APR? lol They hit US hard enough if/when (rarely thank goodness) we don't pay the full amount at the end of every period. I know they have a business to run, but I can't help the phrase 'greedy bastards' coming to mind here.

This morning I'm taking our kitten (6 months old) to the vet's to be spayed. Poor little thing. I'll pick her up later, or Hubs will depending on the time. She has been dying to get out into the garden, and we have let her out on numerous occasions, but under our watchful eye - just incase some randy ol' tomcat decides to 'give her one' (using Hubs terminology lol).

What do you think of this? To be frank, I haven't slept in the same bed as my husband for about 10 years. It's heaven. Why would I want to sleep - haha, the word sleep is important here - in the same bed as someone who STOPS me from sleeping with his (of course subconscious and unintentional) zillion decibel snoring, pulling off the duvet so he gets it all, farting and fidgeting? I get bugger all sleep when I'm in the same bed as him. So that's why I chose to sleep elsewhere, because I really don't think I can survive on 2 or 3 hours of sleep, at most, per night. Paul Ross on LBC radio was talking, a couple of days ago, about the self-same subject and was asking listeners to phone in and tell him why, if they did, do they chose to sleep in separate beds from their partners. Not one, that I heard (I only heard about half of the programme) caller said they slept in seperate beds because their partner kept them awake at night. I know one thing, I may be a selfish cow about it, but I friggin' NEED MY SLEEP!!!!!!

And why oh why am I fretting so much about the Masterpiece financial system at work? Shit, my job is bloody totally financially biased at the moment - and, as I've probably said before, I was NOT employed as a finance person. I spent over 4 hours yesterday trying to sort a load of shit out - getting advice, help, trying to contact a lady who wanted to be paid before she would send out the goods - it's against my work's policy to pay before receipt of goods/services, and sending her a cheque when we had no guarantee of getting what we asked, especially as she was a 'one off' and small company (basically a one woman band) was fuel to the fire. Still, it's all good, clean fun. NOT! :S

I'm debating on whether to go ahead and wear a thong with those light coloured trousers I bought at the weekend. I know people won't be able to tell what I'm wearing underneath, unless I wear ordinary knickers, but they show through....too self-conscious, I am, by miles. That's the shyness part kicking in I think.

Hubs is annoyed. Highly irritated. I know the cause and shall help him out soon. I had a weird dream about kissing Robbie Williams a couple of nights ago...and it was how a REALLY good kiss should be. I've never had a really good kiss. Gawd knows if I'm any good at kissing, but I guess giving a bloke an erection when you kiss them must mean something? That's sooo vulgar. Forgive me? Okay, maybe not. Yes, so I actually, I think (lol) experienced a good kiss in a dream. It was soooo good. Everything I thought kissing was about, and should feel like, until I experienced the let down of kissing In Reality. I always have this conundrum going round in my head. Do I expect too much from stuff like that? Is that why I'm let down? Is it because I've just been 'blessed' with bad lovers? Am I 100% to blame for stuff like this or less? Will I ever experience the 'good stuff'? I mean the REALLY good stuff. Like that kiss in the dream??? So many questions. A massive question mark with lots of little question marks underneath. And the thing is I probably may never know the answers to any of it.

I'm getting ready for work. It's going to be a nice day (weather wise). And I'm feeling a bit uneasy because of all the new stuff being introduced at work, with little or no instructions as to how to properly execute the systems. I was NOT employed as an invoice clerk/financial person, but more and more I'm being lumbered with 'numbers work'. Okay, not 'numbers work' perhaps (not the right term maybe?) but it's paying invoices, tapping in numbers onto a computer, working out VAT exemptions/items. Ordering things through an ever more red tape system. God, if I had my friggin' way I'd do it the short but sweet way - simplify, simplify, avoid excessive paperwork/red tape. Cut the crap. I have a meeting with another admin. person and a woman who has a potty mouth tomorrow morning, because another system hasn't been explained to us properly. You can either laugh or cry. I tend to laugh and whinge (to myself mostly!) - they must think I'm totally off my trolley at work sometimes.

I had a fit of giggles on my way into work yesterday morning. I was listening to a radio show about hospitals and .... well, you know how it's not what people say sometimes but HOW they say it?...this woman was telling how she had had an operation on her feet (bunions I think) and how her feet had been bandaged up after the operation, which was normal practice, but then she was mistakenly given two left feet of orthopaedic sandles to wear, after the operation, both size 11's (she was something like a size 3 or 4)...and how the straps were, of course, both the same side. Well, I just couldn't help rolling up with laughter in the car - imagining the sight of a woman with totally bandaged up feet, like miniature mummies (?), wearing two massively wrong sized sandles, both left feet, trying to walk (or rather waddle) about. I know, I have a sick sense of humour sometimes. I'm just cruel.

It's amazing how a feeling of loneliness suddenly sometimes (very occasionally - I expect it's the same with most people??) engulfs me. When I sit and add up people who I know, either casually to chat to or friends who I keep in contact with....then I don't know WHY I feel lonely. Just inexplicable I guess. Also a feeling of sitting on the edge looking in, watching everyone getting on with their lives and living....that's called blog reading eh? lol But I'm not feeling lonely now. I guess I feel it maybe once everyone couple of months intensely and then maybe sometimes for like 5 minutes. Odd. Yes, I know I am lol.

Yesterday turned out to be a lovely day. People (relatives) came over and the kids loved playing about in the garden. All the children mucking around, apart from my daughter (the only girl amongst the 5 other boys). She's more sedate and communicative, if you know what I mean. The boys just bash each other with make believe weapons and see who can do the most dangerous, scary, bravest or whatever act - competition is rife. Not that that is a bad thing, just different from what most girlies tend to incline towards doing most of the time. Just my experience/view that's all.

A lot of the bulbs (crocuses and fuschias) are coming up now. Such pretty colours; lilac, yellow, white. I really am surprised, I mean that they are thriving, as I consider myself such a shit gardener. Oh, and Hubs even cut the grass with the lawnmower. At first the lawnmower wouldn't work but my dad (clever bloke) looked into it and tested it, and sorted out the problem (the on-off switch was broken). And the onions I planted (bulbs of course) are coming up too - I mean it looks like I may get some actual edible onions at some point this Summer. I have lots of seeds to plant in the garden, so in a month or two or maybe earlier I'll be spending a lot of time with the kids (I hope they help!) planting 100's of flower/vegetable seeds. The joy of having a bigger garden to tend. I'm precarious about gardening, and I just don't feel confident of my actions. Learning, I guess. And what really big cock up could I make anyhow? Nothing major, so I'll just take it as a fun hobby I think.

So I'm sitting in bed in my jammies typing this. That's one of the loveliest things about having a laptop. Portability (of course, duh lol). Well, I have to leave in an hour (and it's almost 8 am now) to go and pick up my daughter from a sleepover. Then it's off to swimming lessons with my daughter and youngest son. Eldest son has a football match to play in this morning. It's such a glorious morning, I'd love to be able to buy ALL the Sunday papers and lounge around drinking coffee (coffee mid morning and tea the rest of the time) in the garden this morning. Smelling the Sunday dinner slowly cooking, wafting from the kitchen into the garden a little.

Well, that bloody eye lash tint did prove to cause a little bit of a problem to me. Oh well, I give up now. I'm allergic, I'm allergic, I'm allergic. Years of using the flippin' stuff with no problems and then WHAM. Guess that's life. Things change. I'm falling apart!! :S lol.

I went shopping yesterday morning with my daughter (9). Got her some cargo pants (I prefer the word trousers, but I think pants is the proper term here :S). A pale pink pair and a lilac/pale purple pair. I had to take the legs up a little bit. She seems to have suddenly outgrown most of her trousers, tops and other bits and pieces. There's a lot of lovely stuff in shops (cheapo) like Primark, but when you get past say age 9 (she's a big girl and wears at least age 10) then the prices are quite comparable to women's clothes prices. I also got myself some clothes (booooo, I know I shouldn't and always feel guilty when I buy things for myself, perhaps because we now have a smal mortgage again and are feeling the pinch of having moved and doing decorating - all adds up). I got myself a lovely brown, suedette type zip up fitted jacket (where are all the commas?), and a pair of non-iron cream coloured trousers. The downside is that I need to wear either flesh colour knickers underneath the trousers, which I don't have, or a thong (which I do - bought ages ago to wear with white shorts). I hate thongs, but if needs must. I bagged up a lot of my daughter's too-small clothes and have put them in the back of my car ready to donate to charity. Some are pretty buggered, but not unwearable, i.e. they look well worn, but are still 'smart' (huh?).

I ate some raw onion whilst cooking yesterday and can still taste it. When I'm chopping onions there's something I can NOT resist about it and I have to put a piece of raw onion in my mouth. What is it with that? It's sharp, it's ooooh. But I can't stop it.

Saw Borat the film a week or two ago. It was hilarious. Cringe making but soooo friggin' funny. How on earth did Sasha keep a straight face and WHERE I'd love to know, did he get that geezer who plays his manager?

GUILTY, your honour.

So...I've not tagged anyone. I clearly can not be arsed to (sorry). Joe - it's done. Now has your curiousity been satiated??????? :D :P

I also am not in 'tweeking' mood for the HTML to look 'proper' in the guilt meme below. Gosh, what mood AM I in?

Guilt	What is yours?	Explain yourself
Culinary:	Chocolate cake and saturated fats	Self explanatory - bad, bad, bad for you. More the former than the latter.
Literary:	Gossip columns.	Well, gossip is bad isn't it? It usually it just unnecessary slagging off of celebrities and comprises of snooping and then reporting any crap they can dig up.
Audiovisual:	I can only think of occasionally (twice a year?) watching GOOD porn (very, very occasionally - honest!!)	When I'm bored with my little sex life and frustrated (which is ALWAYS). Good porn is not the cock sucking, aimed at heterosexual man type. I hate the constant images of bj's and women as objects/being called sluts - even if the women like it. I bloody hate that. And the 'staged' stuff is SO boring. Pumping and grinding, how very borrrrring lol.
Musical:	Childhood songs/themes to children's shows	It brings back good ol' memories, innocent years of fun with no responsibilities of adulthood.
Celebrity:	Robbie Williams and David Tennant	Because RW is a mess (so I shouldn't fancy him!?) and David Tennant is...well he just is NOT what I should fancy. I mean, my children love him in Dr Who!!! lol

Now I tag:-
and

to complete this same Quiz, Its HERE.

Had a lovely day today, spent with a friend. We decided, on the spur of the moment, to have our hair cut. Special offer at the local hair salon this week (20% discount), so we sat side by side and had trims. Afterwards we had lunch then I had to dash back to be in time for the end of the school day.

I'm still fretting over my pissy boss. She can be such a cow to me. The way she speaks to me. I need to nip it in the bud. She's pissy partly (I think) because she knows she can get away with it, and then it becomes reasonable behaviour (in her mind) for her to talk to me rudely/abruptly. I'm going to either give as good as a I get or get eaten up inside, or something.....else.

I used the new eyelash tint and it's okay....so far. Say that and something's going to happen!!! :S

Beautiful weather today. Spring is in the air.

Oops. A little aside/question: anyone know a link to a website/page where I can get a driver for my sony handycam DCR TRV330E? It has to be Vista compatible. That seems the BIG stumbling block. I've searched and found quite a few downloadable drivers for Windows 95, Windows 98, etc., but none (thus far) for Vista. Help. Pretty please.

Ghosts - Stay The Night

"Oh please don't tell me you're worried you might find when morning comes you regret you crossed that line, take a chance - stay the night. If it's a question of timing, I'll wait......." You'll have a bloody long time to wait, if you wait for me!

Nelly Furtado-Powerless

WHY do I like this song? The words hit me.

My daughter has swimming lessons from school this morning, which means getting her off and ready to school extra early. This means my youngest son gets to school a little earlier, which means I get to work earlier - which I don't mind at all, as I absolutely hate being late.

Still not tried out the eyelash tint yet - I'm a leeetle bit scared, in case I have a reaction, but I must do the right thing and test it first (inside of elbow?).

Chelsea won at the football last night. I wasn't forced to watch it - eldest son and Hubs had it on, so I semi watched, did some household chores and then came onto the computer and surfed around a bit.

Work today and my boss is in. She works only the mid/to the end of the week now, which means I don't usually see her that much (relief! lol). Seriously, sometimes she's a right crabby bag, so you never know what to be like - I mean how to react to her (might end up getting snapped at for asking a reasonable question or what have you). There's some crap I want to clear up with her, and as I have previously mentioned she's not totally organised. She's put a register I started somewhere and not told me where - plus she asked me to do a mail out to certain people but not told me exactly who to do it to and (of course) I need that register to do it with. Typical. I had to phone around yesterday to get some info' which she'd not given me too. And she bloody earns tons more than me. I guess because she has the experience and 'qualifications' - obviously. (No sarcasm from me, seriously!). On a positive work related note I have been finding my way around the new system related to financial matters (Masterpiece). It's a doddle - now if only the training had been so clearcut and straight forward. We were given a manual (badly written I might add) and minimal training and left to our own devices. Took 3 months or more before I could even USE the system due to the fact that ICT needed an email/confirmation from both my line manager and the trainer before they would put the programme onto my computer (yeah, it took that long to get them to pull their fingers out and DO it). What's that they say? Use it or lose it? lol It's so comical. Mainly because my main line manager doesn't know her arse from her elbow regarding Masterpiece and I can't pass on payments until she's done her bit on it (authorising what I've done). I had to email her everytime I need her to authorise a payment - she gets confused with another system we use related to our corporate purchase card, even though I clearly state in the email heading that it's Masterpiece and not the other system. Talk about kak-handed systems. The more I see of life the more I realise that half the time people don't know what the frig they're doing - thank god for the other 50 per cent who usually do!

We had a load of 'rough' past-it bananas so I made two large banana cakes last night. One to eat now and one to freeze.

Had a weird dream. I dreamt I was hungry and at work and saw a large carrier bag so I picked it up and inside was a posh box of chocolates and two large chocolate hearts. I bit a chunk off of one of the hearts, and then realised that the bag had a note on it saying it was a gift from someone to a work colleague of mine. I was shitting myself with embarassment and hoped no-one had noticed what I'd just done and tried to put the bag and chocolates back without anyone noticing, but then kept worrying that people would notice a chunk of chocolate was missing (plus some of the posh chocolates had spilled out into the carrier bag too). Weird dream. Anyway care to translate that one? :S

Firstly, thanks for everyone leaving 'hope you feel better' comments and other comments too. I haven't had time/energy to respond in the comments like I usually do.

Well, I woke again this morning (dah-daaaaah) with another headache. I don't know if it's just because the room gets stuffy (although the window is left partially open all night) or is it my mattress/pillow combination doing my neck in? Usually the headache goes during the day. Or it could be a remnant from the virus I've just about recovered from. At the moment it's pouring outside, and I think I even heard thunder. Hopefully it's going to stop by the time the children have to go to school.

My new black eyelash tint came this morning! I gave up on the old tint because it caused my eyes to get irritated. The 'new improved' version wasn't so great! Why the hell do they have to change things when I find something that works okay? This one is by Colorsport (yes, no 'u') - so I'll give it a go in a day or two, because I am soooo fed up with having blonde/invisible eyelashes. I hate wearing mascara every day. I'll make sure I do a 'test' in case I'm allergic to this make of tint.

Small things please me...yeah. Can't you tell already? lol And I wore SHOES to work yesterday. SHOES I tell you!!! Seriously I've lived in knee length boots, ankle boots and trainers, or in warm weather flip flops for simply yonks it seems. So, I put on the SHOES and you know I can't tell you how elegant I felt. Seriously, how sad is that? I bought them from ebay (they're by Next, black leather with two ankles straps on each shoe). They have an inch and a half heel - not pointed and not square-ish. So smart. Actually quite a few people commented on how nice they were! Wearing shoes, a pair of tights and a skirt....god, have skirts gone out of fashion? Probably lol. Everyone (women I mean!!) seems to be wearing trousers nowadays. I guess they are just soooo practical. But a skirt, tights and shoes....well, sorry but it makes me feel so very elegant.

Yes, my life is so very full of excitement. I'm happy - well, happIER than I have been the past few days/weeks. Can a virus affect moods? I think the combination of PMT and the onset of that virus really made me pretty miserable and depressed. Not so surprising, I suppose.

Back again. I've been pretty ill and still am. It's something going around - two of my three children have had it, plus my sister....so far. I ached all over, and have been aching all over for the past week....which is improving. Then a rash came out all over my body, slightly aching/itching at the same time. Then a headache (add to this PMT and starting a period, with the cramps and pains that accompany that one). Luckily I don't work at the end of the week, usually, so can partially take it easy. I have to admit I think, from self-diagnosis (yes, I know it's not always a good thing to do or whatever) it may be German Measles. Otherwise it's some weird virus thingy. Being with the children, around them, etc., I tend to pick up most of whatever they get - and let me tell you that schools are often teaming with bugs galore :S. Oh well. So I'm getting slowly over it, I think. That's life. Bloody germs!!!! lol