*WHACK*

.... that was the sound of the realisation that I've got another 'few days' (ha bloody ha) to fill in with the children before they return to school in September. The thing is they don't want to do very much at all at the moment......which I guess is easy for me, but still. You'd think they would have SOME enthusiasm for going somewhere/doing something. Perhaps they just need to have some time to relax. Don't we all. Maybe I'm too manic (heheh).

On Ebay I've been bidding, with my daughter, on some Wii games. Got two. MUCH cheaper than going to the shops. Hopefully they will do the deed and not let us down, if you know what I mean - we'll see.

I'm reading Odd Thomas by Deen Koontz (surprise, surprise) at the moment. It's goooooood. Don't know how this one is going to end.

Hey, we got loads of spuds from the garden. Good fun! Went out and got seeds for lettuce, cabbage and some flowers. And some cress seeds and mushrooms 'seeds' (?) (almost forgot). It's so nice to get stuff growing in your garden - I mean edibles, and not just grass, of course.

We've sort of managed to get our puppy (now five months old) to fetch a ball and bring it back. He's such a stubborn little tikey. Really spunky and cheeky, but loveable. Just wants to play and delve into things he's not supposed to.

just - radiohead

Brilliant.

Yesterday morning the day got off to a bit of a mixed start, due to Hubs delaying our seaside outing (more later) by digging up tons of potatoes (we have two buckets full - yay!) and deciding to do some weeding, rather than helping me get everything ready. I went off to get some rolls and a newspaper and left him in the garden 'digging'. On my way back I heard a long, slow, wolf whistle and looked around to see who else was in the street - no-one. The street was empty (it was pretty early) apart from myself and some bloke (behind a red car) who had taken it upon himself to lay that one on me. Cheers...not. It rather pissed me off. I wasn't exactly wearing provocative clothing (at all) - he needs to take a trip to his local optician's urgently!

Anyway, we spent most of the day at the beach yesterday with Hubs and our three kids, joined halfway through by my sister, her husband and their three children. It was quite a lovely day weatherwise, to start with, but then sort of deteriorated - mainly due to grey rainclouds collecting over our heads. We had some lovely fish and chips on the way home too. The children didn't want to leave the beach, they were having so much fun. My daughter, especially, is a sea-urchin (heheh sorry) and adores being on the beach - in the water, etc. We should definitely make more effort to travel further, if/when the weather decides to stay dry! It's so unpredicatible a the moment. Mind you, I do rather like doing things (sometimes) on the spur of the moment......but other times I like something to look forward to.

The O2 lark, the other day but one was a let down. We ended up coming back and I took the children, apart from one (long story) swimming instead. Then my friend and I sat and had cups of tea and chatted. Sometimes, you know, when you don't see someone regularly (now that she works full time and all types of different shifts we don't see each other weekly anymore) I feel like perhaps next time I see them we won't be on the 'same wavelength', if you know what I mean. It's like a minute fear that I have sometimes, like somehow they may have moved on, sideways, backwards, or whatever to a different place from me and we won't connect like we used to. But thank goodness I am (in the vast majority of cases) pleasantly surprised that this 'movement' hasn't occured. We're both singing from the same hymn, still :).

I started off this post thinking I was going to be blogging about Deen Koontz...so I had better. Well, I have NEVER ever in my life read one book by a particular author and felt this savage (almost) hunger to want to read more and more and more of their stuff. But with Deen I do. I'm in lurrrve. He has this enthralling writing. Captivating and profound (words I just read elsewhere and found them very fitting). He has awakened this apetite in me, this hunger that I can only describe as wonderfully fulfilling (stop laughing at my crappy descriptions and bad writing!!!!! lol). Anway, I want to read ALL his published works. I had read the brilliant "False Memory", followed by "The Face" and yesterday I finished (with a a tear in my eye) "Life Expectancy". So I'm off to the library with my three peeplets in search of further DK material to exercise my mind.

Whilst in the pits of a deep downer I toyed with the idea of making another blog to release (even more lol) angst, but just couldn't be bothered. I think I let enough (almost) unedited angst free on this blog....almost, again.

I'm off to the O2 today with kids in tow, plus my best friend and her children. There's a beach there, apparently. Plenty of fun, only I read that children must be under twelve and three of our 6 children are 12 and over :S. Wonder if a few white lies will suffice? lol It's all free, apparently. Got to take a packed lunch though.

What a shitty summer here so far. And of COURSE rain, rain, rain. We are SO lucky that we have escaped the flooding that so many have suffered. Poor bastards - how just bloody dreadful (can't think of a better phrase, crappy I know) to lose your house, everything just about in it too. I can't imagine how gut wrenching that would be.

I so need to make a few 'proper' friends in this area. I have some nodding acquaintances, and a couple of women who I chat to during term time in the mornings, but nothing more really. Thing is it took us a while to really know the people and the area when we were living at our old house, so I guess I can't expect things to happen overnight - these things can take some time. Especially when they work/I work etc., and you don't always, therefore, get the chance to 'connect' with them, if you know what I mean. Even just one 'real' friend here would be great. But we'll see. I'll try and mellow on that subject.

Now. Any questions?

Nag, nag, naggity nag.

I am so pissed off with Hubby right now. I just need to vent and that's it.

Apparently, as he told me this morning, he made an agreement (please note I put 'he' and not 'we') such that he agrees not to pester me for sex if I initiate it three times a month". Like I will initiate something I don't friggin' want or enjoy? Who is he kidding? I thought he was joking, or suggesting .... and where on earth he thought I said "yes" gawd only knows (in his own head perhaps?). He never ASKED me if I agreed or what I thought of this little 'agreement' at the time. Don't my thoughts matter, or does he just not want to hear them (I think the latter, because he won't like what I've got to say, that's for sure). Surely the word agreement is a friggin' misnomer here?

During sex, a couple of weeks ago (which was the last time, doesn't time flies when you're having fun! ) he said "I want to bite your tits"....er, yeah. At the time I just was slightly unnerved. I mean, does he really think that I would enjoy him biting me there? Nibbling, even....no thank you. Licking, sucking, stroking yeah....but NOT biting or squeezing puh-leze. SOMEONE TALK TO THIS MAN!!!! I wonder what his reaction would have been if I had said "I want to bite your testicles". LMAO sorry, toooo funny. Does he think I like my tits being bitten? I mean, I'm sure there ARE women who would like to be bitten there, but I ain't one of 'em. I've TOLD him and SHOWN him what I like.....will he ever learn? Or perhaps more accurately, will I ever learn? I mean to lie back and think of England and stop complaining. Just seems to me that regardless of what I say he seems to merrily do what HE wants to my body. Oooh, I want to swear.

There is a rat in our office at work. I actually picked up one of its turds. Eeek. Thank Christ I only have one more week to work before the holidays :).

Hairspray removes dried acrylic paint from material brilliantly. How do I know? Eldest son got acrylic paint on his school blazer.

Grass stains on your clothing? Apply vinegar and scrub vigorously, then add a few drops of washing up liquid, rub/scrub some more and voila.

*Sigh*...the domestication process is such a subtle killer.

Toni Braxton-He Wasn't Man Enough

I've been listening to this song a lot the last couple of days....the words aren't applicable to my life, but I'm sure they are to a few bloggers who I sometimes read (no not YOU!)who think cheating is good if it keeps them happy.

I'm not searching for perfection, just a more content state or to be content/happy with how things are for most of the time (emphasis on those last five words) - and Hubs is 'singing from the same hymn sheet', as it were on this one too. No marriage (in my opinion) is REALLY perfect, from A-Z (from beginning to end, there're going to be rocky patches I think). I don't really think it exists. It's perhaps something to strive for, as long as the stiving doesn't make the striver (or strivee? lol) unbearably frustrated! If at first you don't succeed...give up!!! (Nah...well....maybe!! lol)

Broke the 7 (or was it 8? I really can't be arsed to keep count....) week paradise that was. Hubs and his tantrums...so I had to submit to a wishy washy bonk. How about the words 'uncomfortable, painful and unsatisfying' - uncomfortable because I never know if he's going to elbow me in the eye/face in his 'rush' to get 'his', painful because now come on...how many of us would just loooove to have facial stubble rubbed vigorously on our genitals (thank goodness my pussy is sort of recovered this morning, OUCH!) and unsatisfying because I was left again (for the zillionth and continual) time simply unsatisfied. This is just a moan. I have done this so many times. I've told him what I want, like, need (I'd rather have nothing than shit). He either isn't listening or isn't capable. I think to be honest it's a bit of both in varying degrees at different times. My feelings on the matter sway from imagining what it COULD be like with a better lover (I have to say I've totally given up on him after 15 years+) to shutting it out of my mind completely....hence a low libido becomes a zero libido. If you keep getting bitten by the dog every time you stroke him....in the end you don't want to stroke him. It's that simple. And for those of you who have never endured 15 years of crap sex....I don't think you will ever totally be able to empathise. Marriage is more than sex (a LOT more - at least to me) but it plays a big part for Hubs, unfortunately. Shame he's no good for me in that way....And I really do (sometimes!) envy you!